10 Things That Poison Your Life
By
Sughra Hafeez in
Life Style
On 18th July 2017
There is an opinion that people treat you exactly the way you let them, and this is largely true.This is a list of negative attitudes or distorted perceptions that poison and really spoil your life. These are unrealistic negative beliefs about yourself, your life and people in it.
Here is the list of things you should not allow others to do. This will make your life better.
#1 You are shamed for your appearance or preferences.
But perhaps what irks me the most is when people say that some people are just ugly, should accept that and just move on.
We are physical beings too, as any doctor who sees how the mind affects the body — and vice versa — will tell you.
Well, newsflash! That doesn’t work! No one feels better after accepting that — not deep down. Being labeled ugly is not liberating. We can see that people are struggling with appearance, developing disorders because of it, and becoming depressed by it. And then we respond by burying the issue and pretending that people who care about appearances are being selfish?
We all care. We can learn to care more about other things, sure, but we still care.
Please, can we stop talking so loud about what we think is acceptable or not, what is ugly and what is not? It’s fine to have preferences, but just because someone does not meet yours does not make them ugly.
#2 You are forced to choose between your career and personal life
More than half of City of London executives feel unable to progress in their careers without making unsustainable sacrifices in their personal lives, according to a survey of more than 1,000 workers.
The poll of mainly mothers and fathers, conducted by networking firm City parents, found 56% felt they had to make untenable sacrifices, up from 47% a year before.
The vast majority of parents (83%) said their career, or their partner’s career, had been negatively affected by the choices they had made since having children.
One executive said: “It feels to me that in order to have a meaningful home life, you have to put your career on the back burner - and vice versa.”
One father working in the City added it was “abundantly clear” that his decision to take shared parental leave “set my career prospects back by at least another year for advancement. It is depressing to think the same may have been happening to serious working mothers for a very long time.”
Half of those with flexible working arrangements said these negatively affected their potential for promotion.
. But there is no law requiring you to abandon your family in favor of work or vice versa. Therefore, you do not have to succumb to pressure from your work or your family and devote all your time to just one. Communicating your needs to both sides and good time management will help you excel at work and find time for your loved ones, as well as hobbies and entertainment.
#3 Everything in the world is decided for you.
Passing 10+2 is crucial, what to do next – is even more critical. Making a right career choice involves a lot of thinking as you have to analyze various fields of studies and right colleges. Now, days, most of the students are forced to opt a career according to the choice of their parents.
Parents are the major influential factor in the career development of a child.
The world is changing and the dreams of each child change accordingly. Children should also be given the right to choose their career path and live their dreams but the real world experience of parents definitely can't be put on a back seat. So, who should be the one choosing a career for a child - the child himself, parents or both together?
It is possible that your mom and dad really know this life better than you, even if you are already a parent yourself. But this does not give them the right to impose their choice on you, however good it might seem. This is your life. You will bear the consequences of your decisions, so you have the right to make them. In the end, it’s better to be a happy, albeit not very famous, designer than a wealthy lawyer who can’t get out of depression.
#4 Relationships that make you unhappy.
Relationships are complicated and, when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change. Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.Someone once joked, "You are always crying because of your relationship? Who is it you’re dating: a person or an onion?" We do not urge you to immediately break up if your partner upsets you. But if your life without this person is easier than with them, you should ponder why you are still together.
#5 Coercive control, even if by your spouse.
In a healthy relationship, equality is present. If one person has particular needs, they accept that their partner will also have their own needs.But an abuser will not think about their partner, and generally puts themselves first. “It doesn’t go the other way,” says Neate. “There’s no consideration that you’re upset.Your body belongs only to you, and "conjugal rights" don’t mean that you can be used without regard for your desires and well-being. An adequate spouse or partner will sympathize with your refusal. In the case where the opposite happens and you are accused of selfishness, you have a serious reason to rethink your relationship.
#6 Constant deception
Do not overlook systematic lies from your relatives, friends, or spouse. If you decide to keep a relationship without trust going, then tell the other party that you know everything, without judgment. Changing this person is not your concern; you can only provide support. But know that if someone really loves and respects you, they will not lie to you in the first place.
#7 Being disrespected at work
How often do you try to brush it off when someone disrespects you? How often do you pretend it’s okay, or avoid confrontation, on the grounds that it supposedly shows you are stronger?If you allow others to disrespect you, as a rule, everyone assumes you don’t mind. And to top it off, probably no one is really aware of your silent suffering — other than those who might go through the same.
The truth is, if you don’t stand up for yourself, no one will.
Unfortunately, many people are forced to tolerate disrespect by an employer or colleagues. If you find yourself in a similar situation, then ask yourself if you need this job badly enough to endure daily humiliation. Do not hesitate to fight for your rights, and don’t be afraid to respond gracefully but firmly if you are bullied.
#8 Physical and emotional abuse.
Dating abuse is a pattern of behaviors one person uses to gain and maintain power and control over their partner. Many people assume abuse means that physical violence is happening, but that’s not always the case! Abuse comes in many forms — it’s not just physical.
Physical abuse is any intentional and unwanted contact with you or something close to your body. Sometimes abusive behavior does not cause pain or even leave a bruise, but it’s still unhealthy.
Unhealthy or abusive relationships usually get worse. It is important to know the warning signs to prevent more serious harm. If you are in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, consider making a safety plan.
There is no justification for those who systematically hit or humiliate you. Your safety is of the utmost importance, and you should not be with a person who constantly threatens your physical and mental health and even your life. You have every right to break all contacts with the abuse and report them.
#9 Constant control.
f someone controls your every move, be it parents, friends, or a partner, this doesn’t mean they simply care a lot. Everyone needs personal space, and relationships are impossible without mutual trust. If the situation is left to chance, it could develop into real tyranny.
#10 Reproaches for “imperfection.
“ Perfection is a myth. True, the images of the ”ideal child,“ “real man,” or ”dream girl" are in the mind of almost everyone, but this doesn’t give anyone the right to scold their loved ones for missing the mark. Do not give in to those who insist on you changing your hair or working out. Your changes don’t guarantee that they will love you more. You don’t have to deserve love, and any demands will only get more absurd over time. That said, if someone is genuinely concerned about your health or well-being, do listen to their advice.