10 Ways To Ensure She Doesn't Kick You Out Of The House

By Michael Avery in Life Style On 22nd October 2015

10 Ways To Ensure She Doesn't Kick You Out Of The House

When we think of the male-female living dynamic, too often the first image that pops into our heads is a beer-guzzling dude living with his tolerant and intelligent wife. Don't believe us? Turn on your television and find a sitcom or beer commercial -- we guarantee you that this dynamic will be the only one you see.

However, we're here to tell you that that style of relationship should stay a work of fiction. If you're a real man -- the kind who can make a baseball bat from a felled tree and tend to the broken limbs of woodland creatures -- then you will do what you can to stay smooth long past the domestication of your relationship.

In this article we provide a guide to keep you smooth after the big move-in.

10. Stay Fresh and Clean

You're living with an honest to goodness lady now. This means that you're going to have to ditch some of your more brutal masculine habits such as refusing to shower for days, refusing to wear pants, and letting your face grow out into a hideous tangle of hair. If you keep your body clean and groomed, she'll have a hard time keeping her hands off of it.

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9. Draw Her A Bath

The bathtub is one of the most romantic household locales. Ensure that it's clean, then draw her a hot bath and add bath beads or some bubbles. If all goes well, she'll invite you to dip your toes in. And even if she doesn't, you just got an hour or so to fix her something sweet for when she gets out. This one truly is win-win.

8. Pack Her Work Lunch For Her

Surprise her by making a lunch that she can take to work. It's an opportunity to be both thoughtful and romantic, since you can also slip in a love note or a flower. Furthermore, you can buy an individual slice of cake or pie from the grocery store and toss it in there. An unexpected red velvet cupcake is couple's counseling in pastry form.

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7. Make Her Breakfast in Bed

A classic gesture, breakfast in bed is the proverbial "oldie but goodie." Get up early on a Saturday or Sunday morning and prepare breakfast just the way she likes it, with toast, fresh fruit, cinnamon buns, a 16-ounce steakwhatever. Then surprise her by serving it to her in bed.

6. Give Her Regular Massages

She comes home from a horrendous day at work; she's exhausted and in a terrible mood. So what do you do? A smooth man would offer her a massage, so do it. Use aromatherapy oils, focus on her neck and back, and the areas that tend to tense up under stress. Your first instinct will likely be to spend a weird amount of time on your favorite parts of her. Trust us, fight this urge. This massage is for her, not for you. You can create a sexy mood, however, by dimming the lights and lighting candles. If you're lucky, prolonged favorite-part-touching will follow.

5. Be Happy To Come Home To Her

Yes, it's corny and clichéd. But it's corny and clichéd for a reason: It's just plain awesome to come home to someone who loves you. After the daily work grind, being fawned over and wanted by a wonderful partner gets rid of stress, and makes you feel good. No more lonely microwaveable dinners with the dog. You've got someone. Crack a smile about it.

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4. When It Comes To Chores, Share Responsibility

A smooth man is a man who gets things done. Splitting up the household chores is a great way to guarantee that both of you get your hands dirty and that you don't end up in a wicked argument over an upsetting spot on the carpet. By splitting up the household chores, you'll keep your apartment clean and your girlfriend happy. If you can achieve these goals, go out and buy yourself some flannel and a pipe. You have passed the grown man test.

3. Respect Her Space

Just because the two of you are living under the same roof doesn't mean that every second of every day needs to be spent together. She's your girlfriend, not your kidneys. Find some personal spots in your neighborhood that each of you can head to for some quiet time. This will also help when you need a timeout from each other or when her parents come to visit.

2. Write Her Romantic Texts

The love letter -- or love text, these days -- is an amazing thing. Little effort is required to write one, and yet you can express so much. Just remember to keep the notes romantic. If you put together something like:

"Honey, can you pick me up some things from the store? I love you."

then you have failed the romance test. Keep it simple. Write a few creative, unique love texts and send them at unexpected times during the day. For example, in the morning, send one as a reminder that -- despite the long-running claims of coffee companies -- she is the best part of waking up.

1. Work With Her To Make It Your Place Together

Moving in together? Remember that the furniture and design decisions should be jointly made. As a boyfriend, you should not show up with a beer-stained La-Z-Boy, a mini-fridge, and posters of your favourite pin-up models. After all, you wouldn't want your girlfriend to put her 50-large collection of possessed-looking dolls on display in the living room. A smooth man compromises -- remember that.