15 People Share Times They Realised Their Family Was Toxic

When mom couldn't share the limelight for a day

"I had my graduation from engineering the same day as my mother's birthday. I, of course, had nothing to do with the date choosing. My mother said I "ruined her birthday" so she scheduled her birthday party to be on my actual birthday. Her birthday is March, mine is August"

When they realised that their shower rules were weird

"When my friend pointed out that most people are allowed to shower every day without having to negotiate it."

When their relative literally broke into their house

"When my ex-sister-in-law broke into my house and started painting my living room while I was at work. Apparently, she didn't like the colour and that would just ruin her Christmas."

When you see the love family is actually supposed to give to you

"When I moved in with my SO and noticed she called her family for things I would never call my own for because she actually likes them and doesn't see communicating with them as an obligation, but rather because she wanted them to be part of her everyday life."

When the screaming matches don't end

"My dad screamed at me for 20 minutes when I was 11, called me a bitch and told me to get the hell out of his house when I casually mentioned we seem to argue more than other families."

When it takes them 22 years to say I Love You

"My mom said I love you at the end of a phone conversation when I was 22 and I realized it was the first time she ever said that."

When people who already have it bad think you have it worse.

"When I got put in a children's home at 6 and the other kids there were scared of the stories I would tell about my home life."

When you realise boundaries should not have been crossed.

"When I realized what sex was and that my family shouldn't be doing it to me. Not kidding, fucked up childhood."

When you're not allowed to like anything.

"Every time I said I like this or that I got immediately criticized or questioned or made fun of to make me feel like shit."

Watching other families be happy without effort.

"Meeting regular parents and witnessing them actually be good to their kids, help them, love them and teach them valuable lessons about life. Not yelling for every small mistake they did. Also now realising that not every raised hand is about to hit you sometimes it's there to pet you. But unfortunately for me, it wasn't the case"

When you're treated worse than a house elf.

"My birthday: "I got you a pack of socks, but I realized I can get them cheaper from somewhere else, so I'm going to return them."

My brother two weeks later: "I think I'd like archery, will you get me this 600 dollar bow?"

Parents: "oh hell yes!"

I never got the socks."

When parents think it's okay to bring you into their fights

"Parents fighting every time they’re in the same room and one of them always complains about the other. I’m 21 and they still do this."

When you think being abused is normal.

"The day I joined a specialty school and was informed that it was not, in fact, normal for my father and brother to relentlessly mock me for my Autism.

Literally spent 15 years being called horrid things and being patronized for my interests, and I legitimately thought that was just what male family members did because my mother would never stop them."

When they change when guests are over

"We had a missionary family staying with us, and the parents actually got input from their kids. The entire concept of being allowed to have my own feelings and thoughts was so foreign. My parents also treated us so much better when we had guests. Not getting beaten was so nice."

This one is just heartbreaking.

"I think I was six years old when my drug addict parents started making me babysit my newborn brother so they could go out and party all night. That was when I really started to notice how bad things were. By the time I was nine, my parents had murdered my little sister through abuse and neglect and when the social workers came to pick up me and my brother, they started crying when they realized we lived in the office of an actual junkyard. I never looked at anyone in my family the same after that day.

(And yes, there is proof of this online. My parents' court case is still studied to this day because their lawyer got them off with basically a slap on the wrist.)"

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