15 Truths The Car You Drive Or Your Parents Own Reveals About You!

Korean Or Japanese Economy Models

You're young and you enjoy the thrill of driving too fast.

These types of drivers don't even bother to pretend that they have to be anywhere. Typically in their teens or early twenties, driving pimped-out Korean cars and other tacky vehicles of similar lineage, these bratty road warriors simply live for the adrenaline-pumping rush of speed.

They tend to travel in packs, and it's best to stay out of their way if you see a horde of them barreling down the road. Aside from any physical damage a collision may cause, they probably don't have sufficient insurance to cover your dented bumper after they manage to flatten their glorified tin can against your car's rear end.

A Cute, Sporty Compact Car

You're the least threatening driver on the roadand possibly a college girl.

Sort of the female counterpart of the aforementioned Hyundai Speed Demons are the bubbly, college-type girls in small, sporty sedans. The good news is that these types of drivers aren't really known for their speed-racer tendencies, so you are generally pretty safe around them.

Cute, summery-fresh, and possibly the least-threatening drivers out on the road, the only danger is getting an earful of the latest banal pop music issuing from their car stereos if you are too close to their Jetta during a traffic jam.

An American Sports Car

You act like you're the only one that's in a rush.

Some drivers always seem to be in a hurry, making a mad dash for that last available parking slot, switching lanes like a quarterback in the final seconds, and generally acting as if everyone on the road should just give way to their all-important quest to get there first.

Owners of American sports cars, such as Corvettes, Mustangs, and Chargers, seem to be especially prone to such selfish behavior. It can get especially annoying when the drivers in question maniacally weave through traffic, endangering the lives of passers-by and other drivers on the road, only to pull into a local burger joint or ATM.

Dude, it's not like they're gonna run out of Quarter Pounders or cash.

A Luxury SUV

A fancy SUV and a bad attitude go hand-in-hand.

This one is such a cliché that it's almost a fact. What is it about luxury SUVs like the Cadillac Escalade or any kind of Hummer that seem to attract jerks and sociopaths like moths to a flame? Is there a law that says that if you own such a car, you have to cut in lines, lean on your horn, switch lanes with impunity, and/or flip the bird at the least provocation?

We think there must be, because such boorish behavior is ubiquitous in the streets of most urban centers. Add bottom feeder points for having a vanity plate with "Winning" or "AllStar" or some variation of self-promoting nonsense imprinted on it.

A Mini-Van Or Standard SUV

You're the older version of the least threatening college girl driverprobably a soccer mom.

Even those aforementioned cute-girls-in-compacts will get older and have kids, and when they do, a large percentage of them will probably trade in their sporty models for a minivan or an SUV. Yep, it's as inevitable as the sunset: yesterday's cute young thing zipping around town in a Miata is tomorrow's SUV-driving soccer mom.

Don't be fooled, though. Although they tend to be just as perfumed and as polished as their younger counterparts and not at all that different save for a few pounds here and there and a laugh line or two soccer moms are an entirely different creature altogether. For many, the years will have given them a certain viciousness and cutthroat worldview, particularly when it comes to protecting their children or their careers.

Must be all those Starbucks venti lattes they guzzle down behind the wheel. Cut them off at your own peril.

An Old Beater Or Hand-Me-Down

You've had this car for over 5 years now and you really can't do anything about the rust anymore.

Rust is a common problem among car owners, particularly those who have held on to the same car for more than 5 years. While there are some things you can do to delay the inevitable, you'll eventually have to accept the fact that the War on Rust is pretty much a losing battle. And surprise, surprise: you're on the losing side.

Unfortunately, some people have given up the fight before it even started, and some never even bothered to stand up to the creep of rust at all. If you've had the misfortune of having had to take a ride in one of these, we hope for your sake that you're up-to-date on your tetanus shots.

A “Luxury” Vehicle

You are either 90 or simply don't care about your car or life.

You know these kinds of cars well from the last time you hired a car that wasn't an Uber to take you to the airport. We're talking the Buick Park Avenue, Cadillac DeVille, Lincoln Town Car, Ford Crown Victoria, or Mercury Grand Marquis.

Sometimes you almost feel sorry for people driving these relics of years past. Undependable, temperamental, prone to breakdowns, and in overall rundown conditionyou know the type. And we're not even talking about the car. It seems that at a certain point in many a person's life, there comes a time when they just don't care anymore, either about themselves, those around them, or the car they drive.

Sometimes this condition can affect the extremely old, but sometimes it just affects those who are just geriatric inside their hearts. Although such drivers and cars seem to have melded together over the years to form a single dusty, depressing, and downtrodden entity, the general crankiness they direct toward the universe and everyone in it somehow makes it hard to feel totally sorry for them.

Hybrids Or Electric Cars

You want to show off your love for the environment.

Okay, these have to be called out: the "Oh I'm so environmentally-friendly, look at me!" goody two-shoes, ‘green' car driving types. Don't get us wrong; there's certainly nothing wrong with caring about the environment, and genuinely conscientious efforts should be lauded. What we take offense at, though, are those drivers who make a big show of their low-emission cars but have no second thoughts about zipping down to the local supermarket to pick up a pack of recycled wet wipes or whatever it is that show-off environmentalists pick up when shopping.

Do your bit to make the world a cleaner place by all means, but please spare us the attention-seeking and the hypocrisy.

An Affordable Mid-Sized Sedan With Good Mileage

You're sensible and you know it.

You know these cars the Toyota Camry, the Honda Accord, the Ford Fusion, and more. These cars seem to tick all the boxes when it comes to responsible car ownership sensible car, good mileage, solid performance, not too speedy but not a crawleryep. It all adds up to a safe and sedate package that causes the least fuss and offense as possible on the road. If you drive one of these, people will probably assume you are like your car bland and middle-of-the-road.

See, these types of cars miss out on all the things that make cars and driving so cool: the high-speed chases, the squealing tires, doughnuts on the parking lot, cruising for chicksyou know, the good stuff.

In fact, we have to wonder why people who drive these even bother to drive a car at all when a bicycle is an even less offensive option.

The Best Of The Best–Ferraris, Maseratis, And Lamborghinis

You're arrogant because you know you're one of the few that can afford your car.

This type of driver goes well beyond even the obnoxious sports car owner, the even more obnoxious luxury car driver, or anyone else. In fact, these types of people live in that rarefied atmosphere where plebes like us don't even exist. It's actually impossible to hate on these people, because for them, we are simply beneath notice, much less acknowledgment. All we can do is admire them from afar, and hope that they don't turn their holy wrath on us for having the audacity to sully their magnificence with our envious glances.

If all that seemed catty and just a tad bit judgmental, don't take it too seriously. It's all in good fun, and we don't really think that way about you and your car of choicewell, not totally. In any case, the preceding "profiles" should give you an inkling of an idea of where people think you fit in. The way we see it, you have one of two options: 1) prove them wrong or 2) embrace your Inner Jerk (or your Inner Soccer Mom or Inner Redneck, etc, as the case may be).

A Subaru

You're a lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that!).

Ehrmtouchy question but it has to be asked: what is with Subarus and lesbians? There we said, and if the thought hadn't crossed your mind before, you're either lying or too politically correct for your own good. Possibly both.

For the rest of us who have noticed this and don't see anything wrong with it, we have to wonder though if there is a paragraph in the driver's handbook that says that lesbians have to absolutely drive a Subaru. If there is and we somehow missed it, it's probably right after the section mandating that jerks need to drive Porsches.

An Old Pickup

A good ol' boy's ride of choiceyou like to chill and waste your time in your car.

The pickup is by most accounts the good ol' boy's ride of choice. Big, loud, and rugged, these festering heaps of metal are about as dependable as Otis down at the local body shop, which is to say "not all that dependable." Nothing a six-pack of Bud and a slap on the back won't fix, though, right?

When riding shotgun in one of these treasures of America's proud heritage, recommended behavior is chugging a cold one while hanging out the passenger window, slapping boisterously at the doors, and hollering at any women folk who have the misfortune of standing by the road as you roar on by.

Then after that's done you can sit in those well-worn seats and stew about all the imaginary threats you think are taking your country away from you.

A New Pickup

You're either a contractor or a good ol' boy who went to college and could afford a better car after.

Good ol' boys who go on to college and do well for themselves eventually graduate to bigger and better rides, but the redneck gene often remains. Oftentimes, the crumbling, creaking, musty pickup of their younger years is simply replaced with a spanking new 4 x 4 that is every bit as loud, abrasive, and obnoxious as their old junker.

The idea of a good ol' boy pulling in upwards of 120k a year with the ego and attitude to match is a bit too horrifying to consider, but there it is. Extra redneck points for having a set of horns on the front bumper and a rifle rack in the cab.

A European Sports Car

You're very rich and may or may not have the body of a C-List model buried in your basement.

Remember those environmental types who want to show the world just how small a carbon footprint they have? Well, these people are much worse, as they don't even make a pretense of caring for the environmentor for anyone or anything else, for that matter. Nah, these types of drivers simply get off on driving the latest and fanciest car on the market and rubbing your face in it.

You know the type: high-powered, successful, arrogant, and enviable. Maybe even a little bit sociopathic. There could even be a fair chance that they've gone full American Psycho and have been carving a secret path of destruction along whatever freeway they like to open the ol' engine on.

Oh, who are we kidding? We'd all like to be them if given half the chance.

A Tiny, Subcompact Car

You're either a little person or a laughing stock.

If you're a 6-foot-five hulk of a man who weighs 250 pounds, you're probably going to get a few chuckles when you get out of that Mini Cooper in the parking lot of your local fast-food joint. And a bit more when you attempt to squeeze back in without spilling your Big Gulp all over yourself and on the bag of fried, fatty goodness you just purchased. But hey, if you can manage to fit yourself into a compact without driving the steering column through your ample man-bosoms, more power to you.

Just don't be surprised when your daily forage at the local convenient store is frequently accompanied by a few snickers here and there, even if no one seems to be looking your way when you turn around.