16 Texts From Thirsty Guys That Every Single Girl Gets!
By
Deepak Mamgain in
Bizarre
On 9th August 2016
Ladies, let's be honest for a moment here, I'm sure that we've all received more than our share of late-night booty calls. Ironically, thanks to technology they are no longer 'calls' but rather sleazy, short, and generally uncreative text messages that (more often than not) come during the wee hours when you've settled on the couch with a bottle of wine and a good book.
Maybe it's an ex-boyfriend, maybe that dude you exchanged digits with in the coffee shop or someone you went on a few dates with but had no real spark. Worse still are the ones that come from very dear friends, coworkers or other people who are generally 'off-limits' and yet seem to forget the rules of common sense and decorum at 2 AM.
In fact, only very rarely will you get a message that actually straight up says 'hey, I would love to meet up and have some sex' (and ladies–if you get that kind of honesty I suggest you grab the bull by the horns because at least he wasn't beating around the proverbial bush). Instead, you get contrite, often poorly spelled, and grammatically incorrect ramblings that are anything but clear or romantic.
Here are 16 of the sketchiest booty call texts all women will receive at some point. If you've received any of these messages and thought "aww wow, he IS interested in me" I'm here to tell you that no–he was just trying to booty call you. Badly.
#1 The #NetflixAndChill
Ladies, let's be honest for a moment here, I'm sure that we've all received more than our share of late-night booty calls. Ironically, thanks to technology they are no longer 'calls' but rather sleazy, short, and generally uncreative text messages that (more often than not) come during the wee hours when you've settled on the couch with a bottle of wine and a good book.
Maybe it's an ex-boyfriend, maybe that dude you exchanged digits with in the coffee shop or someone you went on a few dates with but had no real spark. Worse still are the ones that come from very dear friends, coworkers or other people who are generally 'off-limits' and yet seem to forget the rules of common sense and decorum at 2 AM.
In fact, only very rarely will you get a message that actually straight up says 'hey, I would love to meet up and have some sex' (and ladiesif you get that kind of honesty I suggest you grab the bull by the horns because at least he wasn't beating around the proverbial bush). Instead, you get contrite, often poorly spelled, and grammatically incorrect ramblings that are anything but clear or romantic.
Here are 16 of the sketchiest booty call texts all women will receive at some point. If you've received any of these messages and thought "aww wow, he IS interested in me" I'm here to tell you that nohe was just trying to booty call you. Badly.
1. The #NetflixAndChill
"Wanna come over and watch a movie" is pretty much old school booty call code...nowadays, the kids are using #NetflixandChill. It all has the same meaning thoughif you go expecting to share your love of Gone With The Wind you are going to be sorely mistaken.
#2 The "Are You Up?"
OK seriouslyif you're going to text at ridiculous inappropriate hours please don't call me "Gurl". That is not going to get you a positive response. Ladies, this is where your Do Not Disturb function comes in oh so handy.
#3 The Not So Subtle "What Are You Wearing?"
I've got nothing against a good sexting session. You know what doesn't make a good sexting session? Asking me about my pajamas. Does the word 'pajamas' sound sexy to you? Me either. And if you ask like this you are not likely to ever get to see them...
#4 The Drunken "Are You Up?"
The only thing worse than the inappropriate 'R U Up' is the drunken one that includes so many ridiculous spelling errors you need a decoder machine to sort it out. Not to worryI will decode it for you. It means, I'm half in the bag and want to have sex. Now. You down? It's not relative or terribly polite and you should probably just hit delete...
#5 The GPS Text
Ok I'm going to do everyone a public service here and just ask men to stop doing this altogether. It's creepy. Like really creepy. Back in the 'good ol days you wouldn't have been able to pinpoint with such horrifying accuracy how close you were to my abode, and it was better that way. You know what's not likely to get you invited in for booty call fun? Scaring the shit out of me by appearing like a stalker.
#6 The Not So Sexy Food Text
Please don't compare my bits (or your bits) to Mexican food. Just don't.
#7 The Wrong Number Booty Call
This one can actually be funnybut it's also just as likely that you might receive some scary stuff that will require brain bleach to get over. Gentleman, when you're sending a booty call text it might be worthwhile to double check the phone number. Trust me on this one. Your best case scenario is you send it to a stranger. Worst case? Your Mom now knows your 'mad skillz' for picking up the ladies.
#8 The Mirror Selfie
You know what I will do if I want to see mirror selfies of hot men? I will browse Instagram. I don't need you to send them to me unsolicited.
#9 The Out of Town Person
So basically you want to see me, but only after you do everything else you could possibly think of? Swoon.
#10 The Can't Take A Hint Text
These ones drive me crazy. I'm trying to be polite by informing you that I already have plans. If I wanted to take you up on your offer I probably wouldn't have the aforementioned plans begin at 10PM...
#11 The Cheater
This one is self explanatory. If you have a girlfriend AND I know about it, why are you trying to have sex with me? If you miss it so much then perhaps you shouldn't have decided to date someone else? Just a thought...also, this is smarmy.
#12 The "Lets Catch Up" Text
If you really wanted to 'catch up' with me you probably wouldn't be asking at 11PM...unless of course you work overnight and/or you're a vampire. Otherwise please come up with something more original than this.
#13 The Social Media Lurker
This one is right up there with GPS...it's creepy. If you see me tweeting/instagramming/facebooking and therefore know that I'm awake, have the good sense not to say it. Just drop me a quick note asking something clever...much preferred to "I can see you and now I want you"
#14 The Ignorant/Rude Text
Guyssometimes a girl really is just busy/sleeping/on airplane mode. Contrary to what you might believe it's not always about you and the only thing less attractive than a bad booty call text is a rude/needy overreaction when we don't respond. Stop. Please. Have some self respect.
#15 The Unwanted Sext
"Send me a pic" has become probably one of the most overused and incorrectly used texts of all time. Please men, use some discretion. Know your audience. Choose your timing. If you utilize some common sense you might actually have success with this oneotherwise it's just lame.
#16 The Lazy Text
I'm sorry, but this one is absolutely the worst. It's grammatically incorrect and bastardizes the English language and shows absolutely no creativity. These are not skills that make me think you will be a dynamo in bed. Step it up a notch and try a little bit harder...it might result in the night of your life.
