16 Things Guaranteed To Make You Fail At Your Diet

Introduction

All scientific (and visual) evidence points to the fact that we are a people facing a horrible health crisis: obesity. It impacts children and adults alike, and, unlike some, does not discriminate along racial or ethnic lines. Consumption is ingrained in the fabric of our society and, in our never-ending quest to one-up the competition, it only makes sense that food companies and restaurants would constantly try to offer us the biggest bang for our buck and the biggest portion on our plates. Fools that we are, we never stopped to question whether or not a good thing for the food industry was a good thing for us. So we ballooned up.

As excessive weight has become a HEFTIER problem, we've seen the rise of the diet industry. Action and equal and opposite reaction, right? We all know that one. However, the presence of Atkins, Paleo and Jenny Craig hasn't driven away the big bad that is Ronald, Wendy and...King? Whatever, it doesn't matter. They're still there, hiding behind new "healthy" options and salads and all the while whispering "psst, come here big fella, just one bite, for old times' sake...oh come on, don't be like that, one bite won't hurt you none!"

Before you know it you're knee deep in Baconators, chasing down chili fries with diet coke and hating yourself for how good it makes you feel inside. How it fills that hole. It's like a drug dealer or a shitty ex. It doesn't change, it just is, always lurking in the background waiting for that one moment of weakness to snatch you back into its battered clutches!