'Chivalry Is Dead': Tiktoker Tries A Funny, Desperate Trick To Score A Seat On A Packed Train

It took one tired TikToker with aching legs, stuck standing on a crowded train, to set off a whole debate about whether “chivalry” still exists.

Katy Olivia posted a TikTok of herself standing in the middle of a packed London Tube carriage, balancing shopping bags while several men around her stayed planted in their seats.

The clip shows her holding her spot as the train moves, looking worn out, and clearly hoping someone will notice and offer her a break.

On camera, she groans: "Owww, my legs hurt so much … I wish I could sit down … owwww," while some of the men nearby grin, glance up for a moment, and then go straight back to scrolling on their phones.

The caption over the video reads: "Men used to go to war for women; now they run for a seat on the train".

It is the kind of moment that feels small in real life, but online it turns into a full-blown argument in the comments.

Comments divided

The internet did what it always does and jumped in right away with strong opinions on both sides.

"Chivalry is dead," one person declared, while another joked, "Babes, don't disturb them, they're busy wondering why they're lonely".

Some viewers said the whole thing was funny and relatable, especially if you have ever had to stand through a long commute with bags digging into your hands.

The viral video has amassed over 7.5 million views. tiktok/@katyo1iviaa

"Look at all the princesses resting their weary legs," a third laughed.

One man insisted, "giving up one's seat is a gentlemanly gesture and just good manners, and manners maketh the man".

"A gentleman is rare these days," yet another commenter wrote, adding that the men who stand up should "understand children and women come first".

Others took it as a bigger conversation about basic manners in public, and whether people still look out for each other during rush hour.

The feminism clap back

But plenty of people were not buying the idea that anyone should move just because she is a woman.

A lot of commenters pushed back with lines like "Do you want equality or not?" and "Why would they give it up just because she's a woman?"

"Remember, girls, you fought for this," another put bluntly.

That side of the comments basically argued that courtesy should be about need, not about old rules tied to gender.

Then several people pointed out that Olivia looked "physically healthy" and asked why a random guy should give up a hard-to-get peak-hour seat for someone who looks like they can stand without a problem.

Some argued we have "pushed feminism and independence so much" and that we have "changed the entire dynamic", and now women are complaining about the same equality they fought for in the first place.

Others also mentioned the obvious point that you cannot always tell who needs a seat, because pain, injury, fatigue, and medical issues are not always visible.

What the data says

A 2023 transport study on “seat-yielding” behavior found that commuters are much more likely to give up a seat when someone’s vulnerability is clear, such as an older passenger, a pregnant woman, or a person with a disability.

It also found people are far less likely to offer a seat when the rider looks young and healthy, even if that person might still be struggling in ways you cannot see.

At the same time, many commuters view giving up a seat as a gender-neutral act of courtesy based on need, instead of something men “owe” women by default.

Why this video hits a nerve

Chivalry goes all the way back to the 12th century, when medieval Christian knights used it as a kind of moral code for how they were expected to behave, with values like honor, kindness, and courage.

Over the years, the modern meaning shifted into everyday manners, like holding doors, helping someone with bags, or offering a seat on public transport.

That is why a simple train moment can set people off, because some see it as “basic decency,” while others see it as an outdated expectation.

Over the years, the meaning of chivalry has evolved to emphasize broader social and moral virtues, such as holding doors open and giving up seats for women. qunica.com – stock.adobe.com

Modern feminism has also challenged parts of those traditions, especially the idea that women are fragile or automatically need special treatment simply because of their gender.

As comedian Dave Chappelle once famously said, "Chivalry is dead, and women killed it".

That quote gets brought up a lot in debates like this, because it sums up the frustration some people feel about old-school expectations colliding with modern ideas of equality.

Expert weighs in

So, is chivalry actually dead, or is it just changing? Etiquette expert Kate Heussler says it is not gone, but it often gets misunderstood and sometimes comes out in the wrong way.

"Standing up for someone on public transport should never be about gender alone or a sense of obligation," the model, educator and image coach tells news.com.au.

"Good etiquette is about awareness, respect and reading the room. If someone looks uncomfortable, unsteady, heavily pregnant, elderly, injured, or clearly struggling, offering your seat is a courteous gesture – regardless of whether you're a man or a woman."

In other words, the polite thing is not about “men versus women.” It is about noticing the people around you and stepping in when it makes sense.

Where it can get awkward, she says, is when “chivalry” turns into something that takes away choice or makes someone feel like they have no say.

"Most women don't want to be 'rescued' or singled out simply because of their gender," Heussler explains. "What they appreciate is being treated with consideration and dignity, the same way anyone would want to be treated in a shared public space."

Modern etiquette, she says, is not about "grand gestures" that are meant to impress strangers, but about "situational awareness" and simple respect in shared spaces.

"It's noticing who genuinely needs support, offering help without assumption and being gracious whether that offer is accepted or declined," she says. "A quiet offer of a seat is polite, taking offense when it's refused is not."

"In 2025, the most respectful approach is simple: be observant, be kind, and don't make it about proving a point. Courtesy has evolved – and that's not a bad thing."

So whether you are sitting or standing, the takeaway is not complicated: pay attention, be decent, and do not turn a small moment on a train into a weird power contest.