Common Mistakes That Are Destroying Your Relationship

You leave all the work to your other half

If you’re constantly asking your partner to do things for you, without doing much for them in return, you’re definitely taking advantage of them. It takes two to tango and putting enough effort it is a two-way street.

Your immediate answer is always ‘no’

If your go-to answer for every little thing is consistently a ‘no’, you’re instantly creating a negative vibe in your relationship. This will create a wedge between you and your partner and if you carry on this behavior for long enough that wedge may end up being indestructible.

Do Whatever You Want.

Most people say this without actually meaning it because what it really boils down to is a dare: ‘I dare you to do the exact opposite of what I actually want you to do.’ But although it seems like some guys are catching on to this, many still make the mistake of taking that statement literally. So girls, don't always expect your partner to understand what you mean by this statement. Be clear.

Loving his resume

Fall in love with the person, not what he's like on paper. Only caring about the fact that he's a doctor, he's well traveled and was top of his class won't matter if he doesn't treat you right. Falling in love should be about the person, not just what they've accomplished.

Taking advice

Friends and families can give some great insights on what your Mr. Wonderful should be like … but keep their suggestions on the back burner. What your mom wants for you isn't necessarily going to match up with what you want for yourself. Don't get locked into a relationship that isn't good for you just because it makes your parents proud.

Always Passing The Blame

Being able to say you’re sorry requires you to be able to admit when you did something wrong. If you can’t do that, you’re essentially saying you’re always right and he’s always wrong, which is just never the case. It’s not a competition, so losing a couple of battles along the way isn’t the end of the world.

Not Making Time For Each Other

Notice I said quality, not quantity. The sheer number of hours you spend in each other’s presence is a lot less important than what you do while you’re together. If all you do is small talk over dinner, watch TV in silence, then go to bed, you might as well have spent the night alone.

Having angry reactions to feedback instead of being open to it.

We tend to be defensive and have angry or intimidating overreactions to feedback from our partner; these shut our partner down. Whether we punish our partner by emotionally breaking down, giving them the silent treatment, or screaming at them, we’re telling them that we don’t want to hear what they have to say.

Withholding Affection

Withholding affection may be due to a deep hurt the person cannot articulate, but it’s important to try and find the root cause. Showing each other affection through small things – like flowers, thank you notes, or a long hug – are helpful in showing that you appreciate, love and respect your relationship. Small amounts of effort can lead to great things.

Cheating and Infidelity

Have enough respect for yourself to demand loyalty and faithfulness from your relationship. You know the saying that often rings true, "once a cheater, always a cheater". End it with a cheater and move on. Is it impossible to repair a relationship after infidelity has occurred? No. But it won't be easy. If you are married and cannot simply walk away from an unfaithful spouse, seek counseling and outside resources for help determining if the relationship is repairable. Only time will tell with this kind of damage.

Lying

People that love you will not lie to you. A person that loves you will be honest, regardless of the pain it causes. They will tell you the truth and then sort out problems with you. Together. As a team.

Getting distracted

In today’s world of social media, it is easier than ever to not be fully present in our relationships. Couples can be in the same room but be engaged in their devices, leading to significant disconnect. Social media provides many advantages but also opens the door to more opportunity to be unfaithful. Time spent on social media takes away from real, in-person, genuine connection. Distractions can come in the form of substance use, gambling, work, hobbies/sports and even children and their activities.

Withholding Sex

Sex allows a couple to become closer emotionally and physically. Withholding sex can leave your partner feeling confused and rejected. This can diminish the daily communication and intimacy that builds a sexual and emotional connection.

Putting your friends first

Your parents aren't the only people you might be putting before your spouse; your friends might take priority, too. Just because you're married doesn't mean you can't go out with your pals anymore. But when you are spending more time with your buddies than with your husband or wife, it's time to reevaluate your choices.

Remind Of Ex.

Since when was it okay to use your ex as an example for your current partner to be compared to or measured up to? And why would anyone ever think to mention their ex when they have absolutely nothing to do with certain things? I mean, if an ex is on your mind that often, then chances are, you probably haven't moved on from that person. And plus, comparing your partner to an ex can make them feel like they're not measuring up to your standards, and that's just not fair.

Clinging to Resentment

Forgiveness is important not only in a relationship, but in all parts of life. People make mistakes, and if you can’t let things go even after they apologize and plenty of time has gone by, you’re going to have a hard time ever being happy. If you are in a relationship where you still feel resentment towards your partner because of something that happened in the past then you will never be able to move to the next step of your relationship.

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