Dad Left Fuming With Anger After Son Tells Him His Stepdad Is A Much Better Parent Than He Is

Things make little sense in childhood but when one is growing up, the questions of self-doubt become etched in the mind, telling the person that the neglect and the abuse they felt in their childhood was not something they just conjured up in mind but it is very well the reality. 

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A somewhat similar situation of troublesome childhood was presented by this person on Reddit where the OP blink_just_once brought the situation to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subreddit for some clarity.

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He asked:

“AITA for telling my dad that my stepdad is a better dad than he is”

First, a little background.

“My (17-Male) parents got divorced when I was 9. Before that, they fought constantly, with my dad doing most of the yelling. He has a bad temper and likes to take it out on other people.”

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“My mum got together with David when I was 11, and they are married now. At first, I was a dick to him- I was angry and hurt and blamed him for ruining my family (dumb I know).”

However, David proved to be a gem of a person.

“But through it all, he was never anything but patient and kind to me. When I started going to therapy, I realized I was taking all my anger out on him and it wasn’t fair.”

With time, the duo got close to each other. 

“I started making more of an effort and since then we’ve gotten a lot closer. He comes to watch my football matches, he takes me to the cinema (we’re both huge film nerds lol) and helps me with my school work.”

“The pandemic brought the three of us (my mum included) closer together too and it was actually not as bad as it could have been.”

A happy ending all around!

“My dad, on the other hand, is a different story.”

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“Until about two years ago, I idolized him. I was blind to his flaws and honestly believed he was the coolest.”

“Therapy and time has helped me realize he’s not as great as I thought.”

Therapy has made him realize things in a new light.

“He never reaches out if I don’t reach out first, he makes snide, judgmental comments about people (including my mum and David, a lot) and doesn’t really show any interest in my hobbies/life.”

“I still want to spend time with him, but it’s starting to feel one-sided.”

Seems like OP has some opinions to share.

“A few days ago, he promised to take me out for my birthday, and the day came and we heard nothing. Mum called him. Nothing. I called and texted and got no response.”

This was really upsetting for the OP.

“I was upset and even worried something might have happened to him. David said he was sure something must have come up and his phone was dead or something. He took us out for dinner and got me a new set of paints which was really cool.”

But it was the opposite.

“The next day my dad texts me saying he’s sorry but work called, and he ‘knew I would understand’.”

He was not even guilty for bailing out.

“I call him and ask why he didn’t just tell me that. He seemed annoyed and said he didn’t have time. He then said he hoped I had a good day anyway. I told him, yeah, I did, David took us out for dinner.”

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“He made another sh*tty remark and I just lost it. I yelled down the phone that he shouldn’t talk about him like that because unlike him, David was actually there and that he was acting like a better dad than he was.”

He did his usual.

“My dad started yelling at me and I got scared like I did as a kid and hung up. I started shaking and crying and ran to my mum.”

A lot to process.

“Since then, my mum has been bombarded by texts and calls from him (seemingly still very angry) and I’m honestly frightened. He’s never hurt me and I don’t think he ever would, but he has such a crazy temper.”

“The truth is I know it was a sh*tty thing to say, and I bet it hurt his feelings a lot.”

“But I’m just so sick of him barely being there and then still having a go at mum and David when they’re the ones who are actually taking care of me.”

In the end, OP just wanted some assurance that if his dad really is the bad person here or not. 

“So, AITA for telling him David is acting like a better dad than he is?”

Redditors weighed in on the situation and gave the label accordingly:

• NTA – Not The A**hole
• YTA – You’re The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

People on Reddit called the OP NTA, adding that dad failed in his place as being a parent and if someone else is doing the job in his place then he has no right to blow up on this. 

“NTA: your biological ‘father’ is an awful person”~ImABigFatRat2

“NTA. Your dad is an abusive jerk. Before you normalized the abuse but with therapy, you realize it’s not OK.”~202to701

“NTA”

Many tried to comfort the OP:

“You’re a kid. Your bio father should have been there for you, but he wasn’t.”

“He couldn’t even send a message saying he couldn’t make it or why. He is just mad because you’re right. Your stepdad has been there for you, even making last min plans to make sure you had a great day. He is there for you while the bio father isn’t.”

“Plus your stepdad or mom never ran down your father while your father did. He’s angry cause he has no more control over in my opinion.”

“You didn’t say anything wrong, you said your feelings and I understand why you feel that way.”

“I hope things work out for you though, you shouldn’t have to feel this way.”~Professor_Comrade

Others pointed out that dad behaving angry and upset meant that he was guilty of all that was said to him.