New Dating Study Sheds Light On What People See As An 'Acceptable' Body Count

People’s body count has long been a topic of conversation, both online and in everyday life, and it often sparks strong opinions and heated debates. But when it comes to deciding what number of sexual partners is actually considered acceptable, many people are left wondering where the general agreement really sits.

For years, people have been judged for how many partners they have had, and it is no surprise that women tend to face harsher criticism than men. This double standard has shaped how openly people talk about their experiences and how comfortable they feel being honest.

All of this makes it hard to understand what most people truly agree on when it comes to an “acceptable” number. Having clearer insight might help take some of the pressure off and make these conversations feel less loaded.

As of 2023, women reported having sex with an average of three people over their lifetime, while men said they had slept with five people, according to data from YouGov. These figures give some context, but they do not always reflect how people feel when choosing a partner.

There have been many studies in the past asking men and women for their personal views, but Lovehoney’s latest poll stands out for offering more consistent answers across genders and sexualities. According to the sex toy retailer, attitudes are shifting, and fewer people seem to place heavy weight on body count.

While social media trends and TV shows have often suggested that men care more about how many partners someone has had, this research suggests a change. In this case, women were slightly more likely than men to say that body count matters in a relationship.

Love Honey's study delved into how much people actually care about their partner's 'body count' Getty Stock Images

In the poll, 27 percent of women said a partner’s body count matters to them, compared with 22 percent of men. That difference may be influenced by wider social attitudes around sex, according to sex and relationships expert Annabelle Knight.

"The fact that a slightly higher percentage of women still say body count matters could be tied to cultural conditioning, or even past experiences that shape personal boundaries. And that's okay; everyone's allowed to have their own comfort zone," she said.

When it came to the so-called magic number, the results were surprisingly consistent. Both men and women agreed that having between three and five sexual partners felt like the ideal range.

Across different sexual orientations, the answers stayed much the same. Gay, straight, and bisexual participants all aligned with the view that three to five past partners felt acceptable based on their personal beliefs.

Knight described these findings as interesting, especially because men and women showed such similar views on how many previous partners they felt comfortable with when entering a new relationship.

She said: "This tells us that more people than ever are moving away from the judgement and stigma that the numbers conversation brings, and are focusing instead on what really matters: the quality of the connection they have right now."

Women were found to care slightly higher than men; however, Knight says this could be down to women's societal conditioning surrounding sex Getty Stock Images

"Of course, personal boundaries are important, and it's natural for some to have preferences about a partner's sexual history. The key is open communication - knowing what you're comfortable with and sharing that honestly with your partner, without shame or pressure."

Even so, the poll revealed clear differences when the results were broken down by generation.

Gen Z participants preferred partners with a history of one to two sexual partners. Millennials felt comfortable with three to five, while those on the cusp of Millennial and Gen X shared the same view. The Silent Generation also aligned with the three to five range.

Gen X and Baby Boomers appeared to be the least concerned about sexual history. Both groups agreed that having between five and ten past partners was acceptable.

Knight suggested this difference reflects how modern life shapes attitudes. She noted that younger generations, especially Gen Z, are growing up in a digital world where constant comparison is common and dating can feel transactional. This environment, she explained, can lead to more anxiety around sex, with attention placed on numbers rather than real emotional connection.

Knight said that dating trends have changed for Gen Z in comparison to Millennials Getty stock images

She continued: "On the flip side, older generations have lived through those messy, meaningful, long-term experiences – and for many of them – body count doesn't even come into the equation anymore. What this tells us is that sexual openness doesn't always correlate neatly to age."

"Confidence, communication, and emotional maturity grow over time, and with it, a much healthier perspective on what really matters in a relationship."