Expert Explains What ‘Tossing’ Is And How It Could Be A Sign That You Have ADHD

An expert has shared insights into what 'tossing' is, how it might be connected to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and what steps you can take to stop it.

In our modern age, we’re constantly bombarded with knowledge and information, thanks to social media and the internet.

While this access can be beneficial, it can also be overwhelming. 

Words like 'tossing' have started to pop up recently, and no, it’s not anything sexual—so let’s clear that up right away.

So, what exactly is 'tossing'?

It’s a term related to a viral TikTok trend connected to something called the DOOM pile.

DOOM stands for 'didn't organize, only moved,' and it turns out more people have one of these piles than you might think.

Do you have a DOOM pile? Getty Stock Photo

A DOOM pile can be made up of receipts, bills, or just general clutter that you’ve been procrastinating on putting away—endless possibilities, really.

It appears that there may be a connection between this and people with ADHD, who often find themselves overwhelmed by the clutter piling up around them. This overwhelming feeling can lead to one reaction: Tossing.

Tossing is pretty much what it sounds like—you end up just throwing everything out, tossing it into the rubbish without sorting through it or dealing with it in the way you need to.

What do the experts have to say about this?

Cate Osborn, an author, ADHD advocate, and educator, has confessed that she’s experienced 'tossing' herself.

She explained, “I do know what it’s like to be so completely overwhelmed that it’s easier to say ‘you know what, I don’t need any of this’ and just throw everything away.”

She went on to share that she struggles with prioritizing tasks and managing time, and when she finally gets around to organizing, she faces what she calls choice paralysis.

She finds herself asking, “What should I keep? What if I need it? What if it’s useful later on?”

“It absolutely makes sense that a person with ADHD would get overwhelmed and say, ‘I don’t have the time, space, or energy to go through this process, I’m just going to toss the entire box and be free of the clutter,’” Osborn added.

Madison Perry, a psychologist, draws a comparison between this and having too many internet browsers open at once.

Putting off a task over and over again could be a sign of ADHD. Getty Stock Photo

She explained, “Similarly, people with ADHD have too many mental tabs open at once.”

Perry pointed out that they can easily become overwhelmed and need to find a way to close a tab or two.

Tossing something out removes the need to maintain that item or find its proper place, which can be a huge relief on an overwhelming to-do list.

However, she also stressed the importance of being careful not to accidentally toss out something important.

Tossing is closely related to executive dysfunction, which is a behavioral symptom that makes it difficult for people with ADHD to start tasks and understand what’s needed to complete them, according to American psychotherapist Oliver Drakeford.

He told Huffington Post, “It’s not just impulsive decluttering; for many people with ADHD, it’s an automatic, reactive behavior that helps them avoid feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, and overwhelm that arise when the brain is overstimulated by a big pile of clutter or mess.”

Drakeford also noted that tossing can be linked to experiential avoidance, which refers to attempts to avoid thoughts, feelings, memories, physical sensations, and other internal experiences in the short term, potentially leading to bigger problems in the long run.

He explained further, “For example, rather than facing the uncertainty and anxiety generated when you look at the pile of letters and bills that have accumulated, you avoid it—hopefully momentarily—by throwing them all in a drawer until you’re ready to look through them one by one.”

But, as Drakeford pointed out, “In the long run, tossing doesn’t really help develop distress tolerance for these uncomfortable feelings, nor does it help develop healthier ADHD management skills.”

So, how do you resist the urge to 'toss'?

First off, it’s essential to think about why you’re 'tossing' in the first place and consider whether it’s linked to your emotional state.

Don’t be afraid to throw things away that genuinely need to go, but take control of your space.

If this is a familiar sight, you might want to adopt the two-minute rule. Getty Stock Photo

For those with ADHD, you might want to try the 10 Things game—rather than tackling everything in your DOOM pile at once, start with just 10 items. Small tasks often feel more manageable.

Another helpful tip is to follow the 'two-minute rule,' which means if something takes less than two minutes to complete, do it right away to avoid procrastinating.

Finally, it’s crucial to be kind to yourself. Stop being so hard on yourself, stay positive, and be productive with your self-talk. Don’t let the DOOM pile get the best of you!