Family’s Hidden Message On Dad’s Gravestone Sparks Controversy

WIBW

It's a serious situation.

In an effort to honor their father, a family engraved a message in code on his gravestone, but the cemetery staff considers it disrespectful.

The phrase on Steven Paul Owens' gravestone at the Warren-Powers Cemetery in Polk, Iowa, initially seems innocent before the epitaph is read. On his gravestone, the initial letter of each line is written as "f-k off."

WIBW

The family stated in a statement to WIBW news that Steven frequently used this expression in a lighthearted way.

“It was definitely his term of endearment. If he didn’t like you, he didn’t speak to you. It’s just who he was,” daughter Lindsay Owens told WIBW news.

The quote specifically says, “Forever in our hearts. Until we meet again. Cherished memories. Known as. Our son, brother. Father, papa, uncle. Friend and cousin.”

According to reports, however, the cemetery staff has opposed the idea of the gravestone from the beginning, claiming that swearing has no place in people's final resting places.

According to reports, the Owens family is optimistic that the stone will be allowed to remain.

“No one’s forcing anyone to come out and look at it. That’s a choice that you make. We didn’t do it to offend anyone, make anyone mad or hurt anyone’s feelings,” son Zachary Owens said.

“We did it because it was our father, and we love him, and that’s how we remember him.”

A statement from The Camp Township Trustees read: "The Camp Township Trustees were and are against this headstone being placed in our cemetery. How would you like your spouse, child, mother, father, grandparent, aunt, uncle or cousin, your loved one, or eventually you be laid to rest next to that for eternity?"

Additionally, daughter Linday told TODAY Parents: "I have visited his grave many times since he passed away and I don't know what the headstones say next to [dad's]".

Polk County's spokesman told TODAY that because the area is so small, memorial markers can have whatever inscription the family chooses.

No one "should visit a loved one at one of our cemeteries and leave offended," according to Camp Township Board of Trustees member Alex Johnson, adding they will be "re-evaluating their procedure for memorial markings moving forward."

As the debate continues, it highlights the complexity of balancing personal expressions of remembrance with the expectations of a communal space like a cemetery.

While the Owens family sees the coded message as a heartfelt tribute to their father, others question its appropriateness in such a setting.

Ultimately, the outcome of this dispute will have broader implications for how memorial markers are regulated and the boundaries of personal expression within cemeteries.