Freaking Crazy Headlines That You Have To See To Believe
By
Michael Avery in
Bizarre
On 7th February 2017
The headline is arguably the most important factor of an article. It’s what initially lures the readers in – hell, it’s probably the reason you’re reading this right now (please don’t leave now as a sign of protest). Headlines are limited to just a small number of words, and therefore, writers will use several techniques such as humour, puns, alliteration or other word play devices to try and hook the reader. The most important things to remember though when writing a headline are brevity and clarity.
However, headlines by definition can never tell the full story. On many occasions using a small number of words has resulted in some of the most bizarre and hilarious article titles in history. Just try and compare the iconic 1969 headline, “Men Walk On Moon” with the eyebrow-raising, “Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons”. One thing’s for sure; if you saw any of these headlines in your local newspaper, you’d definitely read on.
1. “Agent Jumps Into River To Save Immigrant, Swims Him Back To Mexico”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... that's just poetic.
2. “Cuba Running Low On Beer As Thirsty US Tourists Descend”
That's right, blame America.
3. “Prank Caller Convinces Burger King Employees To Smash Out Restaurant Windows”
I wonder what he said.
4. “Louisiana Woman Run Over By Police Vehicle While Sunbathing”
Maybe sunbathing is against the law in Louisiana?
5. “Man Breaks Into Washington DC Five Guys, Makes Himself Cheeseburger”
Give him a break. He was hungry.
6. “Man Jailed After Tagging Himself In Facebook Photos Of Him Taking Part In A Riot”
How stupid can you be? Really!
7. “Toothless Man Expected Dentist To Pull Only Four Teeth”
Ouch that guy had a bad day.
8. “CA City Pays Criminals $1,000 Not To Shoot People”
That's on way to discourage crime.
9. “Russian Cellist Says Funds Revealed In Panama Papers Came From Donations”
Suuuuure they did.
10. “China Newspaper Calls ‘Zootopia’ American Propaganda”
I've seen the movie. China might be onto something.
11. “Naked Burglar Sneaks Into Home To Do Laundry”
Hey, he needed to wash his clothes so he wouldn't be naked.
12. “Florida Starbucks Label Reads ‘DIABETES HERE I COME'”
You gotta admit, it's pretty funny.
13. “9/11 Musical Come From Away Will Bow On Broadway in Spring 2017″
On what planet is this a good idea?
14. “L.A. Council OKs Law Limiting Homeless People’s Belongings To What Can Fit In A Trash Bin”
Just throw salt in the wound why don't you.
15. Hungry Dog Blamed For Sparking $100,000 South Austin House Fire”
Bad dog! Bad bad dog!
16. “Penis Ring Sparks Bomb Alert In German Casino”
There are so many questions I have about this headline that can't be answered.
17. “Donald Trump Makes Mexican Mask Factory Great Again”
I'm sure Mr. President just loved this headline.
