How To Avoid Thanksgiving Day Drama

#1 Be Careful Who You Invite To Thanksgiving Dinner

Guests can be a fun addition to any Thanksgiving feast, but be careful who you invite over. First, always clear it with the host or hostess of the meal - one of the most awkward things in the entire world is showing up to a function without realizing that you were uninvited. While most people are gracious enough to just keep their mouths shut during dinner, you better believe that they will say something later on. Second, make sure that this person is someone that you can feel safe inviting to a social function involving your family, as there are few things worse than inviting someone somewhere and worrying the entire evening that they will embarrass you.

For example, if you know that the person you are dating is a clueless weirdo, you might want to consider not bringing him/her over (and then dumping them altogether later on). One bad guest can ruin an entire evening, and that will create serious drama.

#2 Don't Be 'That' Person

When I'm talking about "those people," I am simply making reference to those obnoxious windbags who monopolize the conversation and never let anyone else get in a word or two. It's usually about a depressing subject like health ailments, the failing peace talks in the Middle East and/or reading the obituaries and telling us who died that week.

#3 Don't Invite 'That' Person To Dinner

This may happen no matter who the person is, but all that matters is that the other guests want to put a long piece of duct tape over that person's mouth.

What causes the drama is that everyone dislikes whoever invited "that person" over, even if the host-hostess had no choice. If you think you (or someone you know) might be "that person," fear not - it's never too late to change your ways and be a better Thanksgiving guest. Just be more aware of how you come across to other people and you are good.

#4 Keep Your Children In Line

While children can be adorable, there is nothing cute about them trashing the house. Parents, you need to teach your children that when they are in someone else's house, they need to be respectful and not tip over plants, color on the walls, etc. I understand that you can't tell a two-year-old to not run around, but a four-year-old shouldn't be pulling books off of shelves, breaking glassware intentionally and so on. Bratty children running amok in your house is a rich source of conflict, because it is considered rude to tell others how to raise their children, but at the same time, the parents of said children are being incredibly disrespectful to the host-hostess of the Thanksgiving dinner. You are putting the host-hostess in a terrible position by letting your kids jump on the furniture and dump gravy all over the snow-white carpet.

If you wondering why you weren't invited to Thanksgiving this year, you might want to consider the fact that little Damien tried to give the cat a haircut the last time you went over.

#5 Steer Clear Of Controversial Conversation Topics

As much as humanly possible, try to avoid discussing subjects such as sex, politics and so on. These are hot-button issues for most people, and if approached, they are more than likely to ignite a powder keg. While you may have brilliant political analysis that would put all National Public Radio (NPR) hosts to shame, make every effort not to bring it up. Remember, you can always discuss it later with the right family member and/or friend.

#6 Above All, Don't Discuss Religion

One of the worst topics, aside from politics, is RELIGION! Don't bring it up at all. Everyone has their own opinion on everything, and while they are entitled to their point-of-view, it is something I usually don't care to hear during the holidays. For a couple of days a year, I want to escape reality for a little bit and just relax (the messed-up world we live in will still be there tomorrow on Black Friday).

#7 Offer To Bring A Dish

This Thanksgiving Protocol rule has two parts: First, offering to bring something can be an olive branch extended if you and a certainly family member don't get along. It is saying "look, I know we don't see eye-to-eye, but let's make an effort to, even if it's just for one dinner." It helps even more if the dish that you bring happens to be their favorite (such as homemade buttery rolls, a Tofurky, etc). The generous portions mean that they can have leftovers for the next day, and nothing says "I'm thinking of you" like leftover vegan mashed potatoes.

#8 Don't Assume Everyone Likes The Same Foods You Do

The second, and more important, part is this: pressuring someone to eat your cooking will cause conflict and drama at the dinner table, especially if you know that they have certain dietary needs that would make eating your cooking unpleasant or even dangerous. For example, less than one teaspoon of gluten is enough to send someone with celiac disease to the emergency room, so pressuring them to eat a gluten-rich side dish or dessert shows a total lack of consideration and sensitivity. For people with food allergies, they would much rather hurt your feelings than get seriously ill or even die.

It's great that you are now considering making a dish, but as long as you follow the next rule on this list, you will do just fine.

#9 Home Cooked Dishes Are The Way To Go

If you are going to bring a dish, that is fine, but either bring something that would make Martha Stewart weep in shame or don't bring anything at all. Cool-Whip desserts and boxed mashed potatoes are not acceptable Thanksgiving Protocol clearly states that dishes must be from scratch and taste better than what a restaurant would prepare.

#10 Don't Mess Up The Cranberries

Of all the culinary delights of Thanksgiving, I like the cranberries the best (my mom puts cinnamon and a little orange liqueur in hers), and every time I have this side dish, it brings back fond memories of my mom and I working together in the kitchen to prepare the big feast. Anyway, one year we deviated from the plan and a certain relative of mine made the cranberries. When I was informed of this plan, my first thought was "this is a bit odd, but I can roll with it."

The minute I saw them plopped onto the table, I immediately knew that there was something wrong with my beloved dish it had chunks of what appeared to be apple and it was a funny color. I have been eating cranberries since I was old enough to take solid food, so I know what they are supposed to be: sugar, water and whole cranberries (and maybe a little extra flavoring for a twist). That's it!

When I tasted them, I immediately but discreetly spit them into my napkin, trying to be as gracious as possible. It turns out this relative followed a cranberry "recipe" incorrectly and used the wrong vinegar. Later that night (when the relative left for home), I vocalized my displeasure very loudly and very clearly, and that was pretty much the last time she ever brought anything to Thanksgiving dinner. Her bad cooking has ruined a lot of holidays, and that can be a source of resentment. No one likes having to choke down inedible garbage just to spare someone's feelings, and this can cause conflict.

#11 Help the Host-Hostess With Dinner & Clean Up

By offering to help, you are showing that you understand (and appreciate) all of the hard work that they have put into this Thanksgiving meal. Nothing says "I'm an ungrateful ass" more than just sitting there like a blob, without offering any help whatsoever. When I host my first Thanksgiving meal in the future, nothing would tick me off more than people just eating my food, messing up my house and leaving without acknowledging all of the flaming hoops I jumped through to make that holiday magic possible. I would most likely decline your help politely, but the fact that you offered is what matters.

#12 Take Time To Give THANKS!

When people are angry and feel disrespected, they have a tendency not to say it because they don't want to start a fight, but eventually it will build up inside of them to the point where they completely explode. Contrary to popular belief, conflict doesn't start the minute people start trying to punch each other in the face it starts much sooner when wires get crossed by people being stupid and thoughtless. It's Thanksgiving for God's sake... take time to enjoy your life and be thankful for what you have.