As the world gets more and more connected, it actually becomes easier to feel left out. Do you often find yourself feeling that way? You're not the only one, that's for sure. You may be wondering how to go about tackling these feelings of loneliness. First, you have to have a better understanding of yourself. Then, you can start making changes to overcome your feelings of loneliness.
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1.Get busy.
Do things to consume your time. When your schedule is full of activities that keep you productive and distracted, you won't have the time to dwell on the fact that you are lonely. Volunteer. Find a part-time job. Join a book club, or a new gym with interesting group classes. Tackle a few DIY projects. Just get out of your head. [1]
What hobbies do you enjoy? What are you naturally good at? What have you always wanted to do that you've never gotten around to doing? Take this opportunity and do it.
2.Change your surroundings.
It's easy to sit at home and allow the day to pass with the cast of your favorite sitcom. However, when you remain in the same environment, the pangs of loneliness will only get worse. Go to a cafe to do your work. Go to the park and simply sit on a bench to watch the passersby. Give your brain some stimuli to distract you from your negative feelings.
Spending time in nature can have a positive impact on your mental health.[2] Getting outside can actually reduce stress, and may also help improve your physical health as well. So, grab a blanket and read a book on the park grass. Doing this regularly just might lift your spirits.
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3.Do stuff that makes you feel good.
Doing things you are passionate about can relieve your feelings of loneliness. Think about what makes you feel good. Meditating? Reading European literature? Singing? Go for it. Take some of your precious time and spend it nurturing your passions. Or, ask a peer from school, a buddy at the gym or your neighbor if they want to join you. New friend made.[3]
Refrain from using substances to dull the pain of feeling lonely. Find healthy activities that make you feel good - not just temporary fixes that only cover the wound.
4.Watch out for warning signs.
Sometimes, you may be so desperate to get past your feelings of loneliness that you'll take just about any chance that offers itself to be less lonely. Be careful not to seek out bad influences or people who only want to use you. Sometimes, the vulnerability that comes with being lonely can make you a target of manipulative or abusive people. Signs of people who are not interested in a healthy, mutual relationship include:[4]
They seem "too good to be true." They call you all the time, plan all of your activities, and seem perfect. Often, these are early warning sign of abusive people who want to take control of your actions.
They don't reciprocate. You may pick them up from work, do them a favor on the weekend, etc., but somehow they never manage to return the favor. These people are taking advantage of your vulnerability to profit.
They get moody when you try to spend time elsewhere. You may be so excited to interact with another person that their controlling behavior doesn't initially bother you. However, if these people check in on you, try to keep track of where you go and who you're with, or express concern that you have friends other than them, this is a warning sign.
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5.Concentrate on your loved ones.
Though it can be hard for those who crave independence, sometimes, we have to depend on others. If you're feeling lonely, reach out to a relative or friend you trust - even if they're a thousand miles or more away. A simple phone call can lift your mood.
If you're going through a hard time, maybe your loved ones don't even know. And, you don't have to tell them all your feelings if you don't feel comfortable. Share what feels comfortable for you. Your loved ones will probably feel honored that you shared your feelings with them.
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6.Find people that are like you.
The easiest place to start is the internet. There are plenty of resources to connect with others, like local Meetups.[5] Try to connect with people who share the same hobbies or interests as you. Think about what books and movies are your favorite, or where you are from or currently living. There are groups to fit every situation.
Just go looking for opportunities to socialize and take them. Search online for a group fitness class. Find a group of comic book aficionados. Sign up for that intramural league you've been contemplating at work. Get involved in something. Create opportunities. Initiate conversations. It's the only way these patterns of loneliness will change.[6]
This may involve getting out of your comfort zone - but you have to think of it as a good thing, a challenge. And if you don't like it, you can opt out. More than likely, you won't be hurt from the situation, but you can learn something from it.
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7.Get a pet.
People need connection so much that they've been breeding furry companions for over 30,000 years.[7] And if Tom Hanks can live with Wilson for years, you could certainly benefit from a dog or a cat. Pets can make terrific companions. Just make sure you don't substitute their company for people. Try to maintain a few human connections so that you have others to talk to and lean on in trying times.
Don't pay thousands of dollars for a dog. Go to your local humane society or pet shelter and rescue a pet that needs a good home.
Research shows that, aside from companionship, pets can improve your psychological well-being and even help you live longer.[8]
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8.Think about others.
Social research suggests a connection between self-focus and loneliness.[9] This doesn't mean you shouldn't reflect on your emotions, but it does mean you shouldn't let that become your sole focus. If you extend your focus to others, your loneliness may fade. Studies suggest that volunteering, for example, helps people feel more socially connected and emotionally fulfilled, which fights feelings of loneliness[10][11]
The simplest way to extend your focus is to find a group of people you can help. Volunteer at a hospital, soup kitchen, or homeless shelter. Join a support group. Get involved with a charity. Be a big brother or sister. Everyone out there is fighting a battle; maybe you could help them with theirs.
You could even look for ways to help others who may be lonely. The infirm and the elderly are often shut-in away from social interaction. Volunteering to visit an elder care home or "candy stripe" in a hospital could help you diminish someone else's loneliness, too.
