Hugh Hefner's Ex-Girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson Opens Up About Trauma Saying Playboy ‘Messed Her Whole Life Up’

Gaining fame through her relationship with Hefner, Wilkinson appeared on the reality show Girls Next Door. 

However, reflecting on that period in an interview with People, she admitted it's 'not easy' to look back. 

"I’ve had to face my demons. Playboy really messed my whole life up," Wilkinson revealed.

Last summer, while trying to start anew in real estate, Wilkinson found herself struggling to eat or sleep, questioning her path and what she was 'doing wrong' in life. 

Credit: Denise Truscello/WireImage/Getty

Balancing her career with raising two children, another setback hit when her show Kendra Sells Hollywood wasn't renewed for a third season. 

"It was so scary for me to go through it. I wasn’t focusing on myself or my mental health. Here I was a single mom and I've been alone for years now."

"But it's also easy to feel like the world is caving in on you," she said.

Wilkinson tried to handle these challenges alone, leading to a downward spiral. 

"I was trying to fight it on my own. I was trying to cure it on my own and you can't do that."

"I was isolating, hiding, blaming myself, blaming the world. I was spiraling out of control and I felt like I wasn't strong enough to survive."

Credit: Denise Truscello/WireImage/Getty

In September 2023, at the peak of her struggles, she checked into a hospital. 

Post-hospitalization, she started on Abilify and began therapy thrice a week. 

These sessions have been helping her address unresolved trauma from her Playboy Mansion days and her 2019 divorce from Hank Baskett.

Wilkinson also opened up about her past, mentioning she was on drugs at 15 and dealt with depression before and during her Playboy days. 

"I drank a lot. I was there for the partying, OK, let's just be real. I was not there for Hugh Hefner to be my boyfriend," she confessed.

She described feeling sexualized from a young age and how her self-esteem suffered from her experiences at the mansion. 

Credit: Instagram / @kendrawilkinson

"I hated my boobs, my body, my face. I got to that point where I started hating myself,” Wilkinson said.

Now, she's reflecting on her past decisions, asking herself tough questions like "Why did I have sex with Hugh Hefner at that age? Why did I do that? Why did I go to the mansion in the first place?"

"Why did I get big boobs? Why am I a sex symbol? Why did I bleach blonde my hair? Why did I do this to myself? Why did I?"

Wilkinson is still searching for answers, but she's focused on moving beyond the 'vortex of horrible things'. 

She's embracing her true self and is open to finding love again, determined to give her children a better upbringing than she had. 

"A year ago, I was body-shaming. Now, I feel beautiful," she said.

"I’m not wild as in taking my clothes off, partying, drinking tequila wild, but I really faced myself and my demons."

"I feel like I'm the best mom I can be. I'm giving my kids all I got. I'm giving myself all I got. I’m so proud of myself for battling this and finding the solution and getting the treatment I needed."

If you or someone you know is struggling or in a mental health crisis, help is available. 

Contact Mental Health America by calling or texting 988, chatting at 988lifeline.org, or texting MHA to 741741 to reach Crisis Text Line. 

The SAMHSA Disaster Distress Helpline is also available at 1-800-985-5990, or text "TalkWithUs” to 66746.