Bride dismayed to hear mother say, 'she's living the life Adelaide deserved' on wedding day during speech in front of entire family
'I Resent My Dead Sister': Bride Perplexed As Mother Turns Wedding Speech Into Eulogy
Losing a family member forever changes everything. Other than dealing with the grief of loss, you often have to deal with the changing dynamics of family systems.
For OP, when she lost her sister, her relationship with her mother was forever impacted.
When 38 year old OP got engaged she felt like her mother wasn't excited but OP was used to this sort of reaction.
It was at the wedding however that OP felt like she needed to take a stand. She knew that when her mother would take the mic to make a speech, it would have nothing to do with her or her big day.
OP said that when she was little, she lost her sister in a car crash. Their mother was driving in a separate car ahead of them and OP and her father witnessed the accident.
The family was thrown into grief and was never the same.
Her mother had reacted the worst and was still grieving years later. Ever since the accident, her mother had started viewing OP's achievements through the lens of her daughter's loss.
OP's birthdays and events were about her deceased sister and OP began to resent her.
On her wedding day, OP's mother took the mic to make a speech and talked about how she had lost her daughter Adelaide and did not get a chance to see her get married. She also spoke about her own grief and attending a yoga retreat.
She did not acknowledge OP or her partner even once.
When the five-minute speech ended, her mother said this gut-wrenching line, "Now my Sarah gets to live the life Adelaide deserved."
OP was angry but decided she did not want her day hampered by the situation. She decided to enjoy the rest of the day and did not react to her mother's speech.
OP did not reach out to her mother after the wedding and as the weeks went by there was radio silence on both ends.
This was until her mother showed up at their apartment demanding an explanation. OP laughed and told her that she needed to apologize.
After sending her mother back the way she came, OP's phone was flooded with messages and calls telling her that she was the a-hole.
Commenters sympathized with OP and supported her stance. They added that OP's anger was not towards her sister as stated in the title but rather their mother.
Commenters were also baffled by the last line of the speech and how cruel the insinutation was.
Most agreed that the mother was in dire need of therapy.
Some wanted OP to take a harsher road.