'I Told My Fat Friend Needs To Lower Her Standards If She Wants To Find A Boyfriend'

Someone recently went on Reddit to ask if they were off base for suggesting their friend might need to lower her expectations a bit to snag a partner.

The story starts with the person explaining how their friend, dubbed Lola, has been on the lookout for a boyfriend for "a very long time."

"She is on every dating app and wears white whenever we go out to 'manifest a husband,'" they added.

"When we hang out, she constantly complains about her dating life," the OP wrote.

"Even if we're talking about something completely different, she finds some way to make the conversation about her boy troubles."

It seems no matter the topic at hand, Lola has a knack for steering the conversation back to her frustrations with finding Mr. Right.

The post goes on to detail why Lola might be having a tough time finding someone.

The crux of the issue? Her "long list of demands" doesn't exactly match up with where she's at in life.

"She wants someone who is ambitious in his career and makes six figures (she works part time and lives with her parents, and doesn't seem to be in a hurry to move out)," the OP put.

"He needs to go to the gym regularly and take care of his body (Lola is overweight and hates exercise)."

Lola's checklist also includes finding a guy who's both musically inclined and tall—traits she herself doesn't possess.

"She complains that when we go out no guys approach her, but I've seen plenty of guys ask her to dance, buy her a drink, etc and she rejects all of them."

The plot thickens when Lola questions how the OP managed to find their significant other, Jim, who ticks all of Lola's boxes.

However, Lola didn't take the advice that followed well.

"I told her that if she wants to find a man like that, she should consider applying herself more in her job, going to the gym, and picking up a hobby she wants her partner to have," they wrote. 

"Otherwise, she could either date a guy that is interested in her as she is, or be comfortable with being single."

Despite thinking their advice was delivered gently, it "completely killed the mood."

"Lola got really upset and accused me of fat shaming her (even though I never said anything about losing weight–just going to the gym because she wants her partner to go to the gym)," the OP wrote.

They concluded by saying that they had 'effectively ended the brunch with what I thought was helpful advice.'

Credit: Pexels

The fallout from the brunch had some folks saying the OP owed Lola an apology, while others stood by the OP's side.

With the Reddit post racking up over 1,200 comments, it clearly struck a chord.

"You gave Lola honest, helpful advice when she asked for it. You didn't fat shame her, just pointed out that people often date those with similar lifestyles," one person responded. "Sometimes we need to hear hard truths from our friends, even if it hurts at first."

Another person wrote: "If you want to meet guys who go to the gym, then going to the gym would seem to be an obvious step. Blindingly obvious in fact, and not fat shaming at all. People of all sizes go to gyms."

While a third put: "People need truth. So many are lied to nowadays it's not helping mental health it's making it so much worse. Real friends don't lie to each other."