Man Left Shocked After Mom Who Does Adult Films Invites Coworkers To Family Christmas

Posted by Sama in Relationships On 16th December 2021
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A Reddit user shares an anonymous post where he writes how he was left disappointed and upset after his mom broke their long tradition of spending Christmas together and this year invited her work colleagues who are also her close friends. Sharing some context, the guy writes that his mom is in the adult film industry and he has always made it clear to his mom that he doesn't like interacting with her work friends, however, because she invited them for Christmas this year, he has told her that he won't be celebrating the holiday with her anymore. The guy now asks if he is in the wrong for reacting so strongly to the situation?

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For some people, festival holidays specifically mean family time with some privacy and for others,  it simply means interacting and enjoying with friends and relatives. 

In one of the recent posts on Reddit, this guy shares how his mother's profession made it difficult for him to interact with his mother's work collegues. 

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Shedding some light on his issue, the Original Poster (OP), who has since deleted his account, teased at the stakes of that difficulty in the post’s title:

“AITA for telling my mom she can celebrate Christmas without me?”

First he shared the work his mom do and the impact it always had on his life:

“My (20-year-old male) mom does adult films. Before anyone asks, no I’m not gonna tell you who she is.”

“She’s been doing it for several years now, having told me when I was a teenager and always being very open and honest about it.”

“I’ve always appreciated that fact but have been honest back with her about how I don’t want to know anything about it.”

“I’m pro sex worker and only want what is best for my mom. She has always respected me and never talked about it other than like saying that she has to leave for work and similar.”

OP also shares one recent event in his mother's life:

“Just after thanksgiving this year, mom broke up with her bf. They were together for over a year and ofc has been acting really down lately.”

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“We don’t live together but we live near each other and talk often.”

This has led to a few changes in their holiday tradition:

“For all of my life, Mom and I have always celebrated Christmas together, just us and our partners together when we have them.”

“My dad has never been in my life and we don’t really have much contact with other family, and I have always loved it just being a small thing when I’ve had a couple of different gfs and she’s had a few partners.”

“A few days ago when I was visiting her she told me how she is looking forward to Christmas and how she has invited over several of her friends that she is pretty close with through work.”

Now OP had some concerns: 

“I was initially a bit shocked because she has not only changed our Christmas tradition without asking me, she also invited over people from the part of her life that I want nothing to do with.”

“I asked her why she invited them over and she told me that she thought we’d be a bit lonely over Christmas just the two of us, so having a few friends over will make it more fun.”

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He then shares how he has decided to not celebrate the holiday with his mom anymore:

“I was probably pretty visibly upset and told her that I really didn’t want to celebrate with other people, and that I don’t care that it’s just the two of us…”

“…but she insisted and said that she has invited them over and we’re going to celebrate Christmas all together this year.”

“I told her that if that’s what she is doing then, I will not be celebrating Christmas with her.”

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“She started to tell me how I’m being silly and I tried to explain how it’s important to me, but she didn’t listen and just kept telling me that it’s too late and the plan is made.”

However, OP is unsure if he went overboard with his reaction or not:

“I just left and have avoided her phone calls and texts since, because all her messaging are just telling me how I’m being ungrateful or overreacting.”

“AITA?”

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Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:

NTA – Not The A**hole

  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

The majority of Redditors supported OP and declared him NTA. 

“NTA. You set your boundary long ago and she knows it. If you don’t feel like engaging with that part of her life, it is very understandable.” — billkingoc

“NTA, if she’s pushing this on you, and you’re uncomfortable, you have every right not to celebrate with her” — UncleStumpy78

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“NTA. She made the plan without even discussing it with you, knowing that part of her life isn’t something you want to interact with (which she should know includes her coworkers), and she stepped all over your boundaries in the process…”

“…she has the nerve to call you ungrateful on top of it; what is it you’re meant to be grateful for? :/ I’m so sorry, OP.”

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