Man Reveals His Sister Is Actually His Mom

By Aleena in Relationships On 26th May 2022
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One Redditor is struggling with a complex secret: his 'parents' have been telling him his biological mother is actually his sister for his whole life.

When the OP discovered the secret, he notified a relative, who subsequently told everyone, causing tremendous family conflict.

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“She (40f) has been ignoring me (21M) for 5 months since finding out. That ‘Grace’ is not my sister. She’s my biological mom and after finding this out my whole life’s been a f*cking mess. My ‘parents’ pretended to be my parents because from what they told me it was better that way for everyone since Grace wasn’t ready to be a mom,” the OP writes.

“I’ve been wanting to hear her side ever since but she decided to block me. My ‘parents’ have talked to her because Grace wants to drop this and not being this to her husband. They live in another state so they’re not close at all but she basically didn’t want this getting to her husband. I kept asking her to pls just sit down with me once to hear her side.”

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Internet labeled OP NTA

“But she’s been silence ever since. Why I’m asking if I’m an a*shole is because the other weekend me and my cousin had beers at his house. Me being drunk af I started crying about everything going, he asked me what’s wrong and I told him everything.”

“Sh*t BLEW UP. Nobody, nobody in my family knew about this. He texted his mom that same night. Next morning I’m waking up to everyone blowing up my phone even my ‘parents’ too. Now everybody in the family knows and they’ve even reached out to Grace on my behalf telling her if I wanna talk to her then she owes me at least that.”

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“This whole thing couldn’t be kept a secret from her husband he knows now too because she called my ‘parents’ crying because they had a big fight. He’s so mad he’s staying at his parents. She’s saying it’s my fault now for not letting it go. And now it seem like everything in her life is falling apart. Including my parents because everyone’s coming down on them too for lying this whole time. I know none of that would’ve happened if it hadn’t been for me saying something. But also feel that after being the one who got lied to I was owed some answers too. AITA?”

I honestly have no words, so let’s see what Redditors think of this complicated family situation.

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“NTA: you didn’t reveal ‘her truth’ you revealed your truth. You’re allowed to share what ever details about your life that you want,” said

“You had every right to share with you cousin what you were going through. You have no obligation to continue the lie that your family started. Also, please remember – no matter what Grace says – that what is happening to her now that the truth is known is NOT YOUR FAULT! She chose to not tell her husband the truth when she met him, still didn’t tell him when dating, after becoming engaged, and then even after getting married. She made the decision to keep this from her husband and he has every right to be upset. His reaction is not because or about YOU specifically, but rather about realizing that his wife didn’t trust him enough with the truth and was planning to keep him the dark forever. He has now lost trust in her and is questioning if she is actually the person he believed she was. He’s also probably wondering what other things she has kept from him – what other secrets she may have hidden. Keeping secrets like this from family – and from significant others – is never okay. You are not in the wrong here OP, and you are without a doubt NTA. I hope you get all the answers you are looking for soon,” explained

“NTA. Even 22 years ago, this secret was a bad plan and never going to be kept forever. And, this isn’t just her story or life, it is yours too,” said

“I think everyone is being way too harsh to the sister. She was practically a child herself when she had OP, and we don’t know the circumstances of the pregnancy. It was most likely an incredibly traumatic ordeal, which the family managed to find a good solution to. I understand OPs need for information, but I also understand his sister not wanting to think or talk about a painful experience. As for her husband – I would hope spouses could share something like this with each other, but I can also totally imagine not wanting to bring it up in the beginning of a relationship, and then later it feels like it’s too late already. Sister’s husband is the AH here for being angry instead of supporting his wife when she probably really needs him. OP is NAH, but maybe could have handled it with more sensitivity instead of being angry. (What is there to be angry about? Sister and parents managed the situation well imo.) Sister is also NAH, but should understand OPs need to understand his origin,” said

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“Has anyone considered that his mother may have gotten pregnant in a…traumatic way and maybe doesn’t want to have to face that trauma again? Give her some time. She will come around. Let her process what has happened,” suggested