Nurse Who Has Watched Over 300 People Die Shares 7 Things That Truly Matter In Life

A nurse who has sat beside more than 300 people in their final moments has opened up about what those experiences have taught her.

None of us can fully know what we will think or feel right at the end of our lives until that moment arrives, although most of us hope that we will be as comfortable and pain-free as possible when it does.

While we cannot experience that ourselves yet, this nurse has shared how being with hundreds of people as they died has shaped her view of what actually matters most in life.

Hearing what people talk about in those last moments, from what they cherished to what they regret, can give the rest of us a clear hint about what deserves more of our attention while we still have time.

And without wanting to sound too dark, there is no guarantee about how much time any of us has left, so making changes sooner rather than later is probably a wise move.

Laura M is a nurse who cares for people in their final days and weeks, and she began noting down her patients’ last words, referring to this stage of life as the quiet hour.

Here is what she discovered from those conversations and final reflections.

People can bare their soul in their final moments AlexanderFord/Getty

Loving more and in better ways

One of the people Laura cared for was George, a 92-year-old World War II veteran who had not spoken to his brother for around 40 years after a serious argument.

George said: "I won the argument, but I lost a lifetime."

Laura told Everyday Health that these experiences showed her that people do not reach the end of their lives wishing they had been tougher or colder with others.

Instead, she noticed that many wished they had shown more kindness, offered forgiveness sooner, and expressed love more openly to the people who mattered to them.

Saving joy for later

One retired engineer told Laura that he became wealthy not because he chased success for its own sake, but because he was terrified of ending up with no money.

He said: "I was so scared of being poor that I became rich in fear."

Because of that constant fear, he found that he never truly relaxed enough to enjoy the money he had worked so hard to earn.

For Laura, the lesson was simple. Tomorrow is not promised, so it is important not to push happiness, rest, or joy endlessly into the future while you wait for a perfect moment that may never arrive.

Forgiveness

At some point in life, every one of us will be hurt, let down, or treated unfairly by someone. That is a normal part of being human.

However, the way we carry that pain, and whether we choose to let it go, can stay with us for a long time, as one woman showed Laura in her final hours.

Laura remembered that she said: "I can't die angry."

Not long after, her estranged son arrived to see her. She chose to forgive him, and Laura noticed that her breathing became calmer and more relaxed. The woman died peacefully around half an hour later.

People missed the smell of rain Kryssia Campos/Getty

'The best things in life are free'

One former CEO admitted that he had made a big mistake by failing to slow down and appreciate the simple beauty in his everyday life.

He said: "I mistook being busy for being alive."

When Laura asked different patients what they missed most, many of them mentioned very small, ordinary things rather than big achievements or expensive possessions.

They talked about things like “the sound of birds,” “my dog's breath in the morning,” and “the smell of rain.”

Her takeaway was to encourage people to notice and enjoy those quiet, everyday moments now, instead of only chasing big milestones.

Regret

Most people collect a few regrets over a lifetime, but one person shared a very specific one with Laura that stayed with her.

This was: "I didn't regret failing—I regretted never auditioning."

The lesson Laura drew from this was that even if you might fail, it is usually better to try than to walk away without ever knowing what could have happened if you had taken that chance.

Presence

Modern life is full of distractions, from screens to work demands, and that makes it easy to drift through our days without truly being present.

If your focus is always somewhere else, it becomes much harder to enjoy the people and experiences that are right in front of you.

One dad summed this up when he said: "I was always somewhere else—even when I was home."

Being authentic

Living in a way that feels true to who you are can be difficult, especially if you worry about what others will think, but Laura found that it is also deeply important.

Many of her patients said that pretending, hiding parts of themselves, or living for others’ approval was one of their biggest regrets when they looked back.

One woman took off her wig near the end of her life and said: "Finally, I'm done pretending."