Obvious Signs It's Time To Break Up

Posted by Annie N. in Relationships On 30th November 2021

If you're wondering whether it's time to end things or give it another chance, some Redditors explain moments where they knew for sure it as time to put an end to their relationships.


The keyword here is 'comfortable' silence

"When either of you whip out your phone constantly when together. Can't hold a moment of comfortable silence to appreciate you both being in each other's presence."



just another thing on the list

"When spending time is something you have to give effort to actively think about and plan out as opposed to something you look forward to and excitedly long for. I know that's what it was for me: she became a block in my schedule instead of the reason my schedule existed."



One of these is not like the others but just as valid.

"When all you can think about is how different you are.

When you're lying or making excuses to not be with them.

When they go on a Spring Break trip and screw a guy she went to high school with repeatedly for a week."


Spot the red flags as they come by

""(S)He is just a friend, you don't have to worry about them" -> spends more time with friend than partner.
(might sound lame because of the memes, but my almost 6 years SO cheated on me and now is dating the 'friend')"


You don't feel the same sort of joy

"When someone says your SO's name and you give a sigh or a grimaced look on your face."


Sometimes you already just know even if you're just hanging on.

"There’s a voice in your head that says “You know it’s over” .... every time my relationship has been ending I have had this happen. Sometimes you fight it, sometimes you don’t. But the voice is always right in the end."



Contempt is the no.1 relationship killer.

"Contempt. I took a marriage and family course in college and their professor said that’s one of the biggest signs things are going to/should end. And I’ve 100% been there."



Subtle signs matter too

"When you no longer care if they ate something all day or not."



When time away is cherished

"I begged my boss to send me on business trips."



You're not all there.

"When you're physically in the same room, but it feels as though the other person isn't there - that their thoughts and emotions are somewhere else."



You don't agree on the fundamental things.

"When you discover irreconcilable differences. Relationships take a lot of work- there will be times when you don't want to be together, or when you're not sexually in sync, or whatever. Those things need to be worked through and your relationship will be stronger for it. The red flag I would watch out for is inherent differences in morality, beliefs, that kind of thing."


When you don't get a moment to breathe on your own

"When everything about your life is being controlled down to the tiny details."



When absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder

"When you notice that your partner doesn't miss you (or vice versa) after being separated for a while. If you've been apart for a couple weeks or longer and your partner still feels no particular urgency to see you or talk to you, then the relationship is dead."


Or your luck is as bad as this guys

"When you come home after work and no one is home and 90% of everything in the house is gone. (Happened twice)"



Lack of intimacy and dishonesty

"When you catch yourself lying often. When you're hiding who you are around them because you don't want to fight or disappoint them.

Oh, and when you won't f**k each other anymore."


Relationships are work but you should at least love the job

"When texting them becomes a chore instead of something that makes you happy"



When you see a finish line creeping up

"When you stop seeing a future with them."


If you're Googling, take it as a sign

"When you go to AskReddit to see if sexting is considered cheating."



They're not your go-to person

"You have something big happen and they are not the first person you call.

I had a car accident at like 5am and didn’t even bother calling my now ex, he was useless and I called the people that mattered."

Disinterest is worse than hate

"When you realize you don't wish the best for her/him...you don't wish her/him any harm either...just disinterested in building something better together."



Those little connections are fading

"You no longer like the way your SO smells."



You take off the rose coloured glasses

"You used to think their little quirks and habits were adorable, Now they are just annoying AF."



Trust once gone can be impossible to recover

"When you can’t make yourself trust them again no matter how hard you try."


When their presence just brings you down

"When the thought of being near/around them gives you anxiety. Not the normal "I hope I don't look like a fool around them" anxiety, but that deep, instinctual fight or flight sense of dread"


When you hate interacting with them

"When you turn the corner driving home, and feel disappointment when you see her car in the driveway - because you know the minute you step in the door she's going to start crapping on you again."


When you no longer know how to feel

"You've bottled your real feelings up so much that now everything they do or say fills you with contempt lol. Oops"



When you lose the urge to fight for it

"From personal experience, the biggest indicator is when tensions should be high, you should be upset or arguing, but you just don't care anymore."



When you start losing a sense of self

"If you find that you can only relax and be yourself when they aren’t around, crushing you with the weight of their silent judgement and disapproval, it’s way past the expiration date."


When you do everything to limit your time around them

"Several, but off the top of my head... The sight of them does nothing for you. Getting a text or phone call from them elicits an eyeroll. You try to avoid them. You cannot hold a conversation with them because everything they say is irritating. You really could not care less about their day or anything they have to say to you. You find yourself fantasizing of a life without them... and it makes you smile. You know, just to name a few."