Study Confirms Parents Have A Favorite Child—and Here's Who It Usually Is

A recent study has added some fuel to the age-old sibling rivalry debate by revealing that parents might actually have a favorite child. The findings challenge the idea that parents treat all their kids equally.

Every family has its dynamics, but anyone who grew up with siblings knows the playful, or sometimes serious, competition for parental favor. Whether it’s joking about who gets the biggest slice of cake or who is allowed to stay out later, the rivalry often circles back to the question: who is the favorite?

Firstborns often claim they’re the chosen ones, while the youngest enjoy the reputation of being spoiled. As for middle children, they’ve built an entire identity around feeling overlooked.

Setting sibling humor aside, a study conducted by researchers at Brigham Young University (BYU) in Utah has brought some clarity to this longstanding discussion. It aimed to uncover how favoritism works in families.

Published in the journal Psychological Bulletin, the research drew from a meta-analysis of 30 different studies and analyzed data involving over 19,000 participants. That’s a lot of family dynamics to unpack.

Interestingly, the findings indicated that younger siblings often receive more lenient or favorable treatment from parents. However, the study also highlighted that the dynamics of favoritism are influenced by a variety of factors.

Sibling rivalries are a phenomena as old as time Getty Stock Image

At the same time, older siblings were often granted more independence as they aged, with parents being less controlling over their decisions. This freedom can sometimes balance out the perceived favoritism toward the youngest.

Alex Jensen, lead author of the study and a professor at BYU’s School of Family Life, explained: "It is helpful to take the findings from this study and be aware of the patterns that could be happening in your family."

He added: "When parents are aware, they can make small adjustments that benefit everyone."

One of the study’s most intriguing discoveries was that parents showed a slight tendency to favor daughters over sons. Interestingly, this bias was only observed by the parents themselves and not recognized by their children.

The role of personality was another factor that stood out. Children who displayed more agreeable and responsible traits, regardless of their birth order or gender, were generally treated more favorably by parents.

Jensen emphasized that parents need to reflect on their behavior to avoid unintentionally creating unfair dynamics. Such imbalances could have long-term effects on a child’s emotional health and sense of self-worth.

Nothing like a fight to the bitter end to decide the favorite child Getty Stock Image

The researcher elaborated: "Most parents probably connect more easily with one child over another, whether that be due to personality, birth order, gender or other things like shared interests."

He encouraged parents to remain vigilant about fairness in their actions: "Keep an eye out for things that seem unfair. Your children will let you know if they think something is unfair. Pay attention to them when they make that known."

Finally, he advised: "Either they are missing perspective and understanding, or you need to make some changes in your parenting. Make sure you are open to the latter."

Jensen reassured parents not to feel guilty about the findings, instead stating: "We're not suggesting parents feel guilty; instead, parents can look at this research and use it as encouragement to look at places where they can improve, without going to extremes."