As of late, many individuals addressed the question on Reddit:
What is the best thing you have ever heard a child say?
The outcomes are precisely what you would anticipate from a human that has been living on the earth for under ten years. Funny, powerful, and quite limit.
minusthemaliciousnes
After the usual machine gun style question and answer session with my 5 year old my wife asked her why she asks so many questions. Her response: "Umm. Well, I don't know anything."
BubblesMcTooter
Driving down a steep hill I said to my then 4 year old "sometimes I like to pretend I'm on a roller coaster when we go downhill". She replied "sometimes I pretend I'm riding a ferris wheel made of bones"
whalemango
At my grandmother's funeral, when the priest asked us all for a moment of silence to remember my grandmother, my 5 year old brother, amidst all the silence and hushed crying saw the priest lighting candles and started singing at the top of his lungs, "happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!"
He turned one of the saddest moments of my life into the funniest thing I've ever seen.
Crudball71
My 4 year old niece to my father :
Leans in close and whispers "Grandpa, I know the 'A' word..." Grandpa hoping to have some fun catching her saying a bad word "Really, what's the 'A' word?" My niece says loud and proud, "Fuck!" Dad hit the floor with that one.
my2amdoodles3999
I was observing an elementary school teacher and she asked her students if they had any questions for me. The first question I got was "where exactly did you get your hair cut? Because my mom's hair looks terrible."
bloodycardigan2329
My daughter was 5 and we were at the park. She was jumping up and down pogo-style everywhere through the park and approached a couple other girls to play with her. The older of the two girls was really snobby and asked why my kid was jumping like that. Kiddo said she was practicing how to be a kangaroo. The other little girl said "That's stupid. You're never going to be a kangaroo."
My daughter, still jumping, looked at her and said, "Maybe not. But all you'll ever be is human." And pogoed her butt to the other side of the park. She kept it up till we left the park too.
The other favorite quote I have from her was when she cussed in front of me for the first time and it was pre-coffee early in the morning. I told her that was a grown up word and she wasn't allowed to say that yet. She asked when she would be allowed to cuss.
Without thinking, I said "You can cuss when you get boobs."
Her whole face lit up and she said" YOU MEAN I GET TO HAVE BOOBS?"
Salvadorrrrr1617
When she was young, my friend was singing in the car when, all of a sudden, she started crying. Her mum asked her what was wrong, and she replied: 'I'm crying at how beautiful my voice is
CrystalElyse5109
Well, in Jiu Jitsu last week, I had a 7 year old kid ask me, "What's the point of learning to defend ourselves when we're all just going to die anyway?"
I had to step away to laugh. I had no idea how to answer that question.
alsoaVinn689
A couple of years ago, two of my little brothers (they were 3 and 5), we asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up. The older said excitedly, "I want to be a Missionary! And go to Ecuador!" The younger piped in, "And I want to be a dinosaur! That eats missionaries!"
chickaboomba5788
When my kiddo was about four years old, I heard my son talking to himself in the bathroom and went to check on him. He was using a small piece of cardboard to push a spider in the direction of the bath tub - talking to the spider the entire time. ""Excuse me, sir. Pardon me, sir, can I invite you to perhaps travel this way? Oh, no, not that way, sir. Over here, sir. Pardon me, sir, I don't feel you're listening"
Reality_Facade4985
When my brother was like 5, my aunt and uncle came over for thanksgiving dinner. He greeted them at the door (they're his godparents, so they spoiled him a bit) enthusiastically and loudly said "UNCLE JACK, IS THAT A STICK IN YOUR POCKET OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?!" he apparently had heard it in a movie and just thought it was a normal greeting for someone you're very fond of and might have a present for you. We laughed hysterically and told him not to say that anymore. Tried to explain it in a PG way but he didn't get it till he was like 12 or so. We still give him shit for it to this day and he's 23 now.
Snuffy17173030
As a teacher of health, I have a question box...
"What's a vulva?" comes up every year or two.
Except last year one kid immediately put up his hand and with the kind of glee on his face that only being 100% sure of something can bring, he proudly exclaimed "That's a car!"...
My coffee has never missed my mouth that badly before as I tried to hold back the laugh that would have crushed his soul... Ahhhh teaching is fun :D
ThePortableBanana594
I was coaching a soccer camp one summer and a little kid started talking about the real story of Hercules (Hera made him go insane and kill his wife and children, driving him to perform deeds to a king as retribution). I decided to chip in to the conversations about greek mythology by telling them about Odyssey escaping the cyclops (Odysseus told the cyclops thay his name was "nobody" so that when he escaped, the cyclops would be screaming "nobody stabbed my eye, nobody is escaping," and the other cyclones wouldn't help him).
He loved the story. He was laughing so hard. So I said "he's clever, isn't he?" and the little kid said "I'm going to use that trick with girls! They'll go home and say 'nobody likes me, nobody kissed me!'"
186282_46391
On a road trip with my friend and her 6 year old nephew, and he's in the backseat talking.
My friend said, "Jake, who are you talking to?"
"Myself."
"Well what are you talking about?"
After 5 long seconds of silence, Jake said, "I don't know. I wasn't listening."
Edit: Wow! This took off, and on my new account, too. Thanks for the gold, stranger!
HaikuberryFin
Four-year-old nephew:
"Boogers are poop from your nose,
so I don't eat them."
CootieM0nster
My 3 year old daughter was flower girl for my Sister in Law. Some random old aunt walked up to her and exclaimed "Oh sweetheart, you are a princess!" My daughter looked at her and
My daughter (age 3) said "a fart is just your poop turning to dust". I want to have this painted in cursive on a sign and hung in the bathroom.
MrBismarck1163
My four year old saw Frozen in a large chinema and immediately the movie was over broke the silence with, "When Elsa farts, does it make snow?"
She got more laughs out of a room than I ever have.
icelandinnit604
Whilst showering, my 3 year old son was watching me
"Mummy, what's that?" points at my vagina
"That's mummy's bits sweetheart"
"Err. That's disgusting" trots off
"..."
lightningfrog733
When I was engaged, my then 8 yr old brother approached my future wife and I to explain something to us in front of several other family members: "after you guys get married, your going to sleep together and she's going to be like a big teddy bear"
About halfway through his statement we were freaking out on the inside because we didn't want to step on whatever sex-ed plans my parents had...thank goodness it ended up just being cute