Q: What did the male magnet say to the female magnet?
A: From your backside, I thought you were repulsive. However, after seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.
Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at sporting events?
A: The Wave Q: Why can't you trust an atom? A: They make up everything
Q: What is the name of the first electricity detective?
A: Sherlock Ohms
Q: Why are quantum physicists bad lovers?
A: Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
Q: What did the physicist snack on during lunch?
A: A 'gram' cracker.
Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.
Q: How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.
Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
Q: Where does bad light end up?
A: In a prism.