Polygamous Family, So Close They Don't Know Who Their Children's Fathers Are

By Aleena in Real Life On 11th May 2022
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A polyamorous family with two mothers and two fathers is so close that their children have no idea who their fathers are. In 2019, Taya and Sean Hartless met Alysia and Tyler Rodgers online to spice up their sex lives.

However, the married couples became closer and finally admitted to having affection for one another. In 2020, the family moved in together, and the parents went on to produce two more children, in addition to Tyler and Alysia

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The 'quad' now raises all four children as their own. Because the parents all sleep with each other, they have no idea who their children's fathers are - and they insist they prefer it that way.

Despite the disapproval of certain family members, Taya, 27, says they would not change their parenting style for anything - and feels it is the greatest way to raise. She said: "None of us had been polyamorous before, but we all just met and fell in love.

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"Since we moved in together we all just co-parent all the children - we're one big family unit. A lot of people don't really understand polyamory, and think it is deviant or un-wholesome in some way.

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"It is true that it wasn't always easy - it took me a while to admit I had feelings for someone else - and we definitely do get jealous sometimes. But now it's so natural to us all and I feel so grateful to have multiple partners to raise children with.

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"Why wouldn't you want more love and support and more hands around? It's a messy, hectic, crazy, wonderful life - and I can't think of anything else we could ever want."

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Sean Hartless, 45, and Taya Hartless, 27, married in 2015. Tyler Rodgers, 35, and his wife Alysia, 33, married in 2012 and have two children, an eight-year-old son, and a six-year-old daughter.

In early 2019, the two couples met while seeking online for another married couple to be physical with. Tyler and Alysia drove two hours to see them for the first time in June, and the two fell in love and started meeting regularly.

With time, they began to feel connected to one another, with Sean and Alysia professing emotions, followed by Taya and Tyler. Taya said: "From the first night we met, we all wanted just to see more of each other.

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"It wasn't easy - there was a lot of hesitations around having feelings. Sean was the first to point it out - he said 'we can't deny this is happening'.

"We agreed to talk it out to see what the future would look like. At first, I was really scared to come out and admit my feelings for Tyler - I was scared to let someone else in.

"But eventually we all admitted how we felt."

The two spouses started looking for a large family house where they could all dwell. When Taya and Sean arrived in early 2020, they were all put on lockdown as a genuine test of their new relationship.

            

Taya stated that they ended up in a 'quad' relationship, in which everyone is equal to everyone other, even though some of them are married. She stated that she and Sean are married, whereas she and Tyler are dating, which is true for Alysia.

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But the family are considered a 'closed quad' in that they don't date anyone external to their four. Taya said: "We are all on the same page in this quad - although some of us are married, it is a true square with no inner sections.

"At the start, I would share two nights with Sean and one with Tyler, but now it's non-hierarchical. We're all on the same page and it works better this way."

"As far as dating, we try and do a quad date once a month. We also try and prioritise individual dates too, although it might take a month to get each of us out.

"We spend all holidays and big events together as one big family, of course."

Taya, Alysia, Sean, and Tyler had become such a close-knit quad that when it came time to talk about having additional kids, they came to an unexpected accord. Because both ladies slept with both guys, they agreed to carry on as usual and be satisfied with not knowing who their children's father would be.

Alysia, who works in economic development, learned she was expecting in August 2020, while Taya, who is a stay-at-home parent, learned she was expecting in March 2021. Sean and Tyler supported the ladies throughout their pregnancies, and all four parents agreed to love them as their own, alongside the two older children.

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Taya said: "There was no regulation of who the father was and we said we didn't care. We don't know and don't want to know - we said we would all be parents to all of them.

On April 3rd, 2021, Alysia gave birth to a boy, and on August 11th, 2021, Taya gave birth to another son, with all four of them excited to expand their family. Taya stated that the kids refer to her as "mama" and Alysia as "mom," while Sean and Tyler are referred to as "daddy" and "dad," respectively, and that the kids proudly tell their friends that they have "two moms and two dads."

Taya looks after the youngest two while Alysia, electrician Tyler, and Sean, who works in a high school go out and work during the week and the older children are in school. Taya said: “People ask, does it make a difference that one is not biologically mine?

“But I have stayed home with him since he was a few months old and there is nothing that would change my relationship with him if I were biologically connected to him. I find it very easy to love a child of any of the people that I love – that’s the same for all the children.”

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Taya said being in a polyamorous relationship has the same challenges you get in a normal relationship, such as jealousy – although a lot of people assume that’s not the case with polyamory. Taya said: “Like any relationship, it requires a lot of communication and telling people what your needs are.

“We have found that it’s normal to feel jealous sometimes, but that comes from a need that is not being met – and is actually a way of solving a problem. “For example if I started to feel jealous that Sean is going out for a date with Alysia, it’s because I want to spend more time with him and that need is not being met.

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“It’s good to talk about negative things like that as a way to solve problems. It’s very comforting telling your partner ‘it’s not your fault that I feel this way, but I’d like your input’ and finding a way to get the support you need when you feel that way.”

Taya explained that one of the biggest issues the family face is misunderstanding about what polyamory is, and negative reactions as a result. She said: “A lot of people think polyamory is deviant in some way and it isn’t ‘wholesome’ but for us it’s just our relationship.

“Some people find it hard to understand why anyone would date when already married, but it’s not just about the end goal of marriage. It’s about spending time together and having a support system.

Taya also acknowledged that the family "had some pushback" from close friends and family members who ultimately distanced themselves. However, many of their friends and relatives have been quite supportive, and she believes the experience has "shown who unconditionally loves us."

 

Taya insists no matter what others think, she along with Sean, Alysia and Tyler will are “committed for the long run” and hope to share positivity and help people to understand polyamory. She said: “I don’t think we’ll ever stop learning and we know our relationship will be constantly changing. But we will roll with the punches and make it work.

“We are different from everyone else but that’s ok – and we have made it clear to our children that they can be whoever they want to be. She added: “I always find myself sat thinking about how much I love our life.

“I’m just really excited for the future and raising our kids together. I can’t wait to be the big crazy family that all shows up together. It’s a messy hectic crazy wonderful life – that about sums us up!”