'Relationship Anarchy' Trend Is Helping Gen Z Fight Loneliness — But Experts Warn Of One Big Risk

A new dating approach called 'relationship anarchy' is gaining attention. It’s said to help fight off loneliness, but it also comes with a pretty big catch.

Let’s face it—dating today can feel like walking through a maze blindfolded. There are tons of apps promising love or something close to it, but all the endless swiping, dead-end chats, random matches and ghosting can leave people frustrated and even emotionally drained.

With dating turning into this fast-moving game and more people than ever online, it’s no surprise that it’s starting to mess with how we feel about ourselves and our ability to connect with others.

So, it might not come as a shock that America is currently in what US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has called a 'loneliness epidemic.' This is reportedly hitting young men the hardest, especially those aged 15 to 34—who polls say are now among the loneliest across the Western world.

At the same time, many women are beginning to quietly step away from traditional relationships after becoming emotionally overloaded trying to support their partners.

But there’s a twist in the story. Gen Z seems to be rewriting the rules of love with something fresh 'relationship anarchy' and some believe it might just be the answer to a lot of these modern-day dating struggles.

Loneliness is apparently affecting young men the most Getty Images

What is 'relationship anarchy'?

This idea, introduced by writer and activist Andie Nordgren, encourages people to see all their relationships as equally valuable and unique. And yes, it supports the idea that you can truly love more than one person at a time.

It’s all about letting go of what society expects—things like labels, exclusivity, or the pressure to define what you are to someone else. That means no need to stick with traditional rules when you're dating.

With this mindset, even romantic connections don’t have to be called “relationships” in the usual sense. Instead, they’re just personal bonds, free of assumptions and outside expectations.

It's about tearing up the rules Getty Images

What are the 'rules' to relationship anarchy?

Here’s the thing—there really aren’t any set rules. Relationship anarchy is all about creating your own path with the people in your life. What works for one connection might look totally different for another.

Nordgren outlines this in her guide, The Short Instructional Manifesto for Relationship Anarchy, where she breaks down nine core ideas that challenge the traditional views of monogamy.

The writer says its about valuing each relationship separately Getty Images

"You have capacity to love more than one person, and one relationship and the love felt for that person does not diminish love felt for another." she writes. "Don't rank and compare people and relationships — cherish the individual and your connection to them."

Nordgren emphasizes how important it is to respect others’ independence and their right to make their own choices. Just because you’ve shared a deep connection or long history with someone, she explains, that doesn’t give you control over how they behave or who else they connect with romantically.

What have people said about the theory?

Feeld, an app known for welcoming non-traditional relationship styles, has also thrown its support behind relationship anarchy. In its State of Dating report, the app called it a powerful and bold way to respond to today's growing loneliness.

Their research showed that around 20 percent of Gen Z survey participants had tried relationship anarchy at some point. In comparison, nearly half of Feeld’s users had explored it. Many of them said it helped them feel less lonely and led to stronger, more meaningful connections with others.

It's becoming increasingly popular for LGBTQ+ communities Getty Images

Interestingly, the trend seems especially popular in LGBTQ+ circles, where people often seek relationship models that go beyond the traditional.

"Why must romantic relationships sit at the top of our emotional hierarchy? This adherence to tradition burdens romantic love with the impossible task of asking one partner to fulfill all our emotional needs—often at the cost of our broader connections and deeper, personal well-being." the report read in part.

What are the warnings?

While relationship anarchy might shake things up in a fun and freeing way, it’s not without some real challenges, especially if you’re just getting started.

One of the biggest hurdles is figuring out and respecting boundaries, which can be tricky when there are no built-in rules to fall back on. As Feeld noted in its report: "The path towards non-prescriptive love isn't without its challenges."

The report found that people who practice relationship anarchy were over five times more likely—specifically 536 percent to struggle with boundary setting compared to those in traditional setups. In contrast, folks sticking to more conventional relationships were 46 percent more likely to find conflict resolution a lot easier.

It can be hard to establish boundaries Getty Images