Sibling Rivalry: Brother Refuses to Play with Sobbing, Imploring Sister

By Annie N. in Real Life On 23rd May 2023
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"AITA for refusing to play with my sister again even though she was crying and begged?"

15 year old OP took to Reddit to ask whether he was in the wrong for not letting his younger sister play with him anymore.

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The two used to play regularly together, until an event where the younger sister destroyed her brother's Minecraft server

"I (15m) used to play video games with my sister (12f) a lot. Both of us are into video games, so it was fun to do it together."

"Then something happened in January, and I told her I would never play video games with her again. She was home from school while I was in school, and my parents let her use the family computer to game."

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The server was created and shared by OP and his friends.

"We're only allowed to game on the family computer so we don't spend too much time on it. During Covid, one of my friends made us a Minecraft server that we still play on sometimes."

"We've done so much on that server too."

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The younger sister destroyed the things that they had built and ultimately crashed the server

"While my mom was in the room, my sister went into the server and destroyed stuff that my friends and I had built, got most of our materials blown up, broke stuff that took us forever to get working, and then she crashed the server."

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Needless to say, her brother was furious.

"I came home while she was still playing and saw that she had crashed a server."

"She's not super into Minecraft, but she has played it and knows what she's doing in that game, and when I saw what server she did that to, I was pissed."

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They were finally able to get the server back up but could not recover the destroyed items.

"I told my friends, and the friend whose parents paid for the server was able to get it back up, and we saw what she had done."

"I told my sister she had no right to do that crap."

"She told me it was just a server and we could make another one, and she was just having fun."

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OP was angry and decided to no longer play with his younger sister anymore.

"I told her since she found it fun, I would not play video games with her anymore because she disrespected my work and my friends' work."

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His mother didn't understand his anger at first but quickly came around.

"My mom was surprised I was so angry, and I had to explain to her what she did."

"She told my sister no computer time while she was home from school, and she should apologize."

"My sister didn't then because she thought I'd change my mind when I wasn't angry anymore."

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After his sister refused to apologize to his friends, OP stuck to his guns and stopped playing video games with her.

"I'm not angry with her now, but I'm sticking to no video games together."

"I don't trust her, and she doesn't deserve to play with me after what she did."

"She apologized to me but refused to apologize to my friends."

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He said some time has passed since then but he has held true to his word.

"I'm so lucky they weren't mad at me too because I know it was my account she used to do it. I told her my answer was no."

"This was a few weeks after it happened, and now it's been a few more weeks, and this weekend we both had no plans, and she wanted to play video games together, and I said no."

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His sister broke down crying but he refused to budge.

"She said she was sorry and begged and started crying."

"I told her my answer was still no."

"I told her she's saying sorry because she doesn't want the consequences of what she did, but she didn't apologize to everyone she did it to."

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His parents were split on the issue with his mother asking him to let the issue go.

"My parents are divided over this because mom thinks I shouldn't give consequences forever, while my dad said since I'm not treating her badly or refusing to spend any time with her, this is fair given what she did and given she would not apologize to my friends (something my parents have told her she should do and have given her consequences for not doing)."

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"My mom told me I should reconsider, and I am being harsh. That I looked at my crying sister and refused to give in, which seems kind of mean. My sister believes I hate her even though I told her I don't."

"AITA?"

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Commenters told him he was doing the right thing.

"NTA. This wasn't a toddler randomly pouring water on the keyboard or her resetting the computer because something wasn't working and accidentally erasing files at the same time (I know servers don't work like that, but the point is, this was fully intentional)."

"She needs to understand that people will not trust her/want to do certain activities with her if she proves untrustworthy."

"As long as you're still being civil with her and made it clear she has to apologize to everyone that was affected and doesn't do it again, it sounds like you're setting a good precedent as to what you'll tolerate or not from her."

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OP clarified that he did in fact still spend time with her on other activities but no longer played video games with her.

"Yeah, I mean, we still watch movies together and I have played outside with her and stuff. But video games are off the table for me now. It's still clear I expect her to apologize to my friends. She still refuses to."

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Another commenter asked why she wouldn't apologize.

"NTA, you're showing her the consequences of her actions. And you're not making it that difficult for her to get back on your good books."

"May I ask why she won't apologize to your friends? Maybe she's scared that they'd yell at her or be angry. I think if you talk to your friends and make them promise not to be angry, that it would be a great learning experience for your sister."

"Playing nicely (apologizing) needs to be rewarded, playing meanly needs to be discouraged."

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OP replied that she had never clarified why but simply refused to.

"She hasn't said why she won't apologize. She just refuses. She has refused when I told her to, when mom told her to, and when dad told her to."

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Another simply said OP set a healthy boundary.

“NTA. I think you are setting a healthy boundary.”

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