"Spend More Time Trying To Be A Good Man": Man Shares Why Women Actually Don't Go For 'Nice Guys'

The term 'nice guy' has taken such a pivot in meaning in recent years that when a man calls himself that, you'll see several women running for the hills. So when Instagram creator Cyzor saw a comment on his video, he just had to respond.  

Instagram/Cyzorgg

He started by saying that women aren't looking for nice guys. 

“Let me tell you the problem with ‘Nice Guys’. First off, being nice isn’t a flex. That’s what you’re supposed to be. Expecting women to want you because you’re a nice guy, it’s like expecting women to want you because you shower regularly. You shower regularly, right? "

Instagram/Cyzorgg

He continues on to say, "At some point during your childhood, somebody told you that if you want a girl to like you, all you have to do is be nice to them. They lied. I’m sorry, that’s not true.”

Instagram/Cyzorgg

He also called out the reaction that these 'nice guys' have when they face rejection.

“That is not enough. You need more than that. Do you understand? And this bitterness when a girl you like f***s someone that’s not you? What’s that about? Who did they f**k? Somebody with more than niceness, right? Somebody who was charismatic, maybe? Who looked good, who smelled good. Who was funny. Somebody more interesting than you, right? Yeah.”

Instagram/Cyzorgg

He also said that this sort of reaction stemmed for a sense of entitlement.

“Let me break this down for you. If you’re feeling bitterness, that means you feel like you deserve something and you didn’t get it, right? You feel like you deserved her, right? Because you’re so nice, yeah? No, stop being entitled, what’s wrong with you. That’s not how any of this works. Sometimes you’ll put your best foot forward and someone still won’t like you because they just don’t like you. That’s life. Being bitter about it is childish. Move on.”

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He also called this tactic manipulative since these 'nice guys' always had an end goal in mind.

“Another thing about ‘Nice Guys’, your niceness is always conditional. Like you’re nice, right up until the point where you realize that they’re not going to sleep with you. And after that they are every name in the book. They’re ugly, they’re s***s, they’re everything. As soon as you find out, they don’t like you – they’re everything. Your niceness is so fake. That’s why women aren’t looking for nice, there’s no more.”

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“If your niceness is conditional, then it’s just manipulation”

He also said that this 'niceness' only ever extended to people they found attractive.

“And another thing? Y’all are only nice to people that you find attractive. Let her be someone you don’t find attractive and see how not nice you would treat her. And the last thing is, hey, y’all get mad at women when they f**k somebody who y’all think is not a good guy. ‘They say they want good dudes, but then always f**k the blah, blah.’ Shut the f**k up.” 

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He also used a food analogy to share that someone not being available was not the end of the world and that these 'nice guys' should practice the art of moving on.

“Let’s say someone asked me what kind of food I like because they’re ordering food for everybody. And I say ‘I like a good steak.’ And they say, ‘Well, we got McDonald’s, Taco Bell and Wendy’s.’ I’m going to pick McDonald’s, Taco Bell or Wendy’s.”

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“That doesn’t mean I lied about the steak. Steak just wasn’t available. Good steak is hard to come by. By the same token, if I say I don’t really like McDonald’s, but they brought in an extra burger and I haven’t eaten – I might just eat the McDonald’s.”

Instagram/Cyzorgg

Ultimately, he urged these people to stop trying to be 'nice guys' and strive to be good men instead.

"That doesn’t change the fact that I want the steak. My point is this – spend less time trying to be a nice guy and spend more time trying to be a good man. Spend less time mad about who somebody else’s with and more time becoming a more interesting person. Work on yourself. Okay?”

Commenters loved this take on the situation. 

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This user thought this perspective was a breath of fresh air since they were so tired of interacting with self-proclaimed 'nice guys'.

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Others said anyone who claimed women didn't go for nice guys should be immediately disqualified.

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Another user pointed out that even if you were to flip the situation, these 'nice guys' wouldn't just be happy with a 'nice girl' and that there would be more attributes that they would be looking for like any other person.

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