We have all used some sort of passive-aggressive comments while in the middle of an argument. Whether we do it to insult our partner, the situation, or our relationship, these kinds of comments can be detrimental. While it is easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment, it is not healthy to make your partner feel less than they really are. It is imperative to know that these kinds of comments can destroy your relationship and the way your partner feels about themselves. Here are the comments that you should avoid at all costs.
Stop Using These Passive Aggressive Comments Before They Destroy Your Relationship
By
Missy aka Tizzy in
Life Style
On 18th January 2018
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“You would say that.”
This comment is a low-key diss. Saying they would say something like "that" is classifying your partner as something they are not. It makes it sound like you are implying they are a mean or rude person with no regard for others, and this is not the case. Things are said in the heat of the moment that most people do not really mean. Do not classify your partner as something they are not just because they are upset in the moment.
“I’m confused.”
While it is not really a big deal to let your partner know that you are confused about an argument, you have to find a better way to express it than using those words. Just saying, "I'm confused," can make it sound like you are not listening to them. You want to have regards for your partner, especially during a heated argument. Don't escalate things by making it sound like you don't care. Ask questions in order to clear up any confusion that you may have. Be specific. That will let your partner know that you are putting in an effort to understand what they are upset about.
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“You aren’t making any sense.”
If you ask a question to clear up any of your confusion, it is important to avoid getting frustrated and saying, “You aren’t making any sense.” That will make your partner feel like their opinions and feelings don't matter or that they are un-relatable. You also do not want to make your partner feel like they are always wrong either. If you do not avoid this statement during an argument, both of you will end up even more frustrated and could sabotage your relationship. You should do everything in your power to ease the situation, not make things worse.
“You would feel that way.”
You never want to make your partner feel wrong about the way they feel. You would definitely be upset if your partner made a remark like this towards you, so you should avoid using it. This is another situation where you could be classifying your partner as something that they are not. The way a person feels, while in the middle of a heated argument, is not how they would feel when they are calm, cool, and collected.
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“Why do you always do things like that?”
Here is another example of classifying your partner that you want to avoid. Do not make them feel like everything that they do is wrong because if they hear it often enough, they are going to believe it. Instead, you want to reverse it on yourself and say things like, "It really upsets me when you do such and such because..." This will make your partner realize how their actions are affecting you and your relationship.
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“It’s fine.”
Unless the argument has reached a point where you are okay and you feel fine, do not say it. This creates a tension-filled situation and sets you both up for another fight in the future even if you do not want to argue. Never pretend to be okay with something if you are not.
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“That’s just great.”
Passive-aggressive statements during an argument come off as dripping with hate and anger. These kinds of phrases will make the situation worse because you sound like you are provoking each other instead of fixing what caused the argument. Find better ways to communicate instead of being sarcastic and passive-aggressive. Communicate your real feelings without baiting, insulting, or taunting your partner.
