Swinging Couple Says Sleeping With Other People 'Improves' Their Relationship

By Zainab Pervez in Life Style Published On 12th October 2022

Swinging, sometimes called wife-swapping, husband-swapping, or partner-swapping, is a sexual activity in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship sexually engage with others for recreational purposes.


The swingers community sometimes refers to itself as 'the lifestyle', or as 'the alternative lifestyle'.

Although it may not be 'the lifestyle' for most of us, this couple reports great improvement in their relationship because of swinging.

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Sex club owner Jess, 30, and events planner Jay, 46, open up about their lives together as swingers. 

When Jess started dating Jay, she was with her ex-fiancé, Lawrence, who is still her business partner at Our Secret Spot in Sydney's Annandale.


It is "Sydney's Premium Swingers Club Boasting a classy and clean environment for discerning couples to live out their fantasies.", their bio on Twitter.

It is a progressive adult lifestyle club for open-minded couples and singles, as mentioned in their bio on Instagram.

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They met 'the traditional way, on Tinder' two years ago and started dating soon after.

As things developed between Jess and Jay, they decided to 'close' their relationship a little by excluding seeing other partners separately.

To make up for the lack of sexual diversity Jess, suggested swinging.

'I am quite open to things, so when she brought it up I thought it was worth a shot,' Jay said.

The first time they 'tried it' was also Jay's first ever 'group sex experience'.


'We had a foursome with my best friend and her partner,' Jess said.

Jay loves having open communication in his relationships and says the swinging lifestyle works for him because the couple are always checking in on each other, speaking about boundaries and connecting even when they are with others.

'We are always looking at each other in the moment,' Jess explained.

And when things do become uncomfortable they can de-escalate quickly.

'You definitely have points where you feel awkward. I remember once I was pulled into a position I felt really uncomfortable in,' Jay said.


'A position Jess and I do, and I just couldn't get my head back,' he said.

This is where Jess' intuition and intimate knowledge of her partner shone through.

'I looked over at him and he was like a deer in the headlights,' she said.


'I could sense his face change and realised he was having a freak out moment. So I pulled him in, brought things back in so it was just us.'

Jay says he doesn't get jealous when Jess is with other people - because he 'just wants her to be happy'.

But they have one rule - they only swing together and they mostly swing with females. Jess, who is bisexual and had been in non-monogamous relationships for a decade said, 'I am more attracted to women.' 


'I am content with Jay as the man in my life,' she added when asked if they would ever consider a threesome with a man.

Jess said she doesn't think she could ever rule out swinging completely - but doesn't mind having breaks from it.

'It has become such a beneficial change for me. It's also is such an adaptable lifestyle that even if we choose to take some time off to focus on ourselves or building a family we could do so and have our relationship closed until we felt the urge to come back into the lifestyle,'


'Swinging has most definitely improved my relationships both with my friends and partner. It has allowed me to be honest with myself in what I require from a partner as well as what I need to be like as a person to be happy.'
Jess says new people who are wanting to try out swinging should sit down with their partner and talk about their boundaries before trying out the lifestyle. Her club has been awarded the "Adult Industry Choice Award."