The 10 Most Terrifying Mascots In NBA History

By Editorial Staff in Sports On 13th August 2016

Over the past few seasons teams have introduced obscure and creepy mascots and it’s causing a stir. Some are old and some are new, but there is a dark side to NBA mascots and the repulsive attributes given to some of them is truly what nightmares are made of.

#1 NBA Team Mascots

The NBA is known for it's over the top theatrics as much as it is for its athleticism on the court. Halftime shows are usually elaborate, long, show stoppers that include anything from jugglers to trapeze artists. But the most notable show stopper of all are the team mascots. The NBS mascots typically interact with the fans more than they do in other sports, and you never know when might appear in the stands and throw a pie in your face or dump confetti over your head. Although it is all being done in the name of fun and games, people are concerned that some of the outrageous behavior by the team mascots is crossing the line.

#2 Pierre the Pelican – New Orleans Pelicans

This mascot is just weird and creepy for so many reasons. Pierre's beak is terrifyingly large, big enough to eat a small child, and I wouldn't put it past him. The color they chose for him is similar to vomit, and his Mohawk makes him even more hideous. When Pierre was first introduced the New Orleans fans were disgusted, as they should be, so the Pelicans did the right thing and changed their mascot. Unfortunately, they changed it to a different, equally disgusting pelican named Pierre. He is not very entertaining either, as reports claim that he actually makes children cry instead of laugh while at the games. How would you feel if you were seated, enjoying a basketball game in the Bayou when this monstrosity sneaks up behind you? I would probably sue the arena for irreversible mental damage.

#3 King Cake Baby – New Orleans Pelicans

The other Pelicans mascot is this thing, a huge, creepy, scary baby. This is truly what nightmares are made of. King Cake Baby is yet another mascot conjured up by the jerks at the New Orleans Pelicans arena. His head is large, his eyes are eerily wide, he is disproportional, and he looks sickly. King Cake Baby is the most frightening mascot in not only the NBA but in all sports. He doesn't appear at every game, thankfully, but when he does, the fans actually shout and boo at him. It's no secret that this mascot is disgusting, as a matter of fact, the Pelicans have been known to send the baby out in the streets to scare unsuspecting citizens are grocery stores and other public places.

#4 G. Wiz – Washington Wizards

Gee Whiz is right! What is this thing supposed to be? G. Wiz is an oddly shaped monstrosity that must have come from some costume designer's bad trip. He is considered cute by some, but others say he haunts their nightmares. He is totally just a bunch of scraps and mismatched things thrown together. Sporting blue fur, a floppy wizard hat nose, springs with stars at the end of them, and pink fur surrounding his eye. Wiz is not of this earth. How can the President of the United States let this abomination perform in the state capital? Oh yeah, they're used to clowns there!

#5 Chuck the Condor – L.A. Clippers

This guy is brand new and only made an appearance in February of 2016. Chuck the Condor is a hideous pink bird who wears a helmet, knee pads and elbow pads You know, equipment that has nothing to do with basketball. Also, Condors are scavengers that rip apart dead animals in the desert, nothing about this thing is appropriate. The Clippers unveiled a new logo and new uniforms this offseason and everyone agrees that they are an eye-sore. Nobody is sure why they selected such a strange mascot but if the Clippers want to get out from behind the shadow of their Los Angeles counterpart, the Lakers, they need to start making better decisions.

#6 Squatch – Seattle Supersonics

Squatch isn't actually that bad of a team mascot, but the reason he made this list is because he is a little too scary. The SuperSonics were moved to Oklahoma City in 2008, and with it went their high flying hairy mascot. The thing with Squatch is that he is actually terrifying and actually kind of looks realistic, making him even more horrifying. He is based on the classic North West legend Big Foot, which kinda sorta fit in Washington, but not Oklahoma. There are always rumors floating around about a SuperSonics comeback, and if they do, let's hope they bring Squatch back to keep the kids in Seattle frightened every time they try to enjoy a basketball game.

#7 The Brooklyn Knight – Brooklyn Nets

Sticking with the rejected Power Ranger theme, The Brooklyn Knight is somewhat of a Sir Slam-A-Lot revival, but with even more black tights. At least Sir Slam-A-Lot had the decency to wear shorts over his spandex. The Brooklyn Knight and his crotch bulge were sent packing after only two seasons from 2012-2014. The team had decided that he had traumatized enough of their fans. He carried around a shirt cannon that he fired at the stands on occasion and otherwise just made kids cry. Fans complained that a knight had nothing to do with the Nets, and after shipping him off to the land of misfit mascots, they have yet to replace him.

#8 Sir Slam-A-Lot – Detroit Pistons

No, he is not the rejected sixth Power Ranger or the failed superhero from DC, he's Sir Slam-A-Lot, the Detroit Pistons mascot until 1996 when the Pistons came to their senses and replaced him with a horse. He was supposed to resemble a hero mixed with an American Gladiator, but it just looked creepy instead. Sir Slam-A-Lot was pretty much rejected by the fans and the NBA, resulting in very little information on his existence on the internet. Sir Slam-A-Lot is not the most terrifying figure when it comes to mascots, but his elusiveness and tight spandex makes him a true oddity, and his resemblance to a tight black leather fetish exhibitionist is kind of disgusting. There are a lot of young fans at NBA games, and they don't need to be traumatized up by an American Horror Story character.

#9 The Coyote – San Antonio Spurs

Do not look at this thing directly in the eyes. This potentially drugged-up coyote looks like the product of a very bad trip. At first glance, this mascot does not seem too threatening, but his sporadic movements and hypnotic, piercing green eyes can become bone chilling. As is the case with most evil manifestations, The Coyote has never been given a formal name, even though he has been the Spurs mascot since 1983that's 33 years of relentless horrors. The coyote is actually in the Mascot Hall of Fame and makes hundreds of personal appearances each year in the community, scaring children and adults alike.

#10 Hip Hop – Philadelphia 76ers

Hip Hop boasted a creepy smile and often wore a red bandana around his head that matched his 'cool' sunglasses. You could find him bouncing off the trampoline right over the fans heads trying to make a dunk. His sidekick, Lil Hop, was even more cringeworthy, and when new ownership took over the team in 2010 they quickly sent Hip Hop down the bunny hole along with his little friend. Unfortunately, they replaced him with something even worse, Franklin the Dog, who is more horrifying to fans that the bunny.

#11 Burnie – Miami Heat

WTF is this thing? Wikipedia describes Burnie as an anthropomorphic fireball, but to me, it looks like an abomination. Burnie is an orange-furred, feathery, oddly shaped being who seems to be more of a nuisance than an entertainer. It is probably difficult to come with a mascot that is not named after an animal, but this is no excuse for the monstrosity that was created for the Miami Heat. His large nose sometimes looks like a butt, and his wide-bodied figure is the opposite of the athletes he is supposed to represent. This thing is not very fun to watch either.

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