The Most Annoying People In Yoga Class

By Editorial Staff in Life Style On 26th October 2016
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#1

One great lesson of yoga: Go with the flow. And we try. (Oh, how we try.) But in yoga, as in life, some things make it hard to find serenity. Like other students who make weird moaning noises. Or teachers who make unfunny jokes. So, fess up, yogis: Which of these people have made you want to bolt from the studio without saying namaste?

#2 The Show-Off

Oh, you can do a handstand? Wow. Oh, you can do Scorpion Handstand with your feet on your head. Impressive. Wait, now you're folding into Lotus, lowering your knees onto your arms, and coming into some crazy Crow variation?! We get it. You're strong, flexible, and amazing. But do you need to show off all your Cirque du Soleil tricks when the rest of us are doing the humble Tree pose? Come on!

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#3 Stretching all the way down to the floor and spotting a toenail.

It can be quite tempting to simply stop and pull off the piece of the toenail or even hanging skin.

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#4 The person who has little to no body awareness.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. The individual has contorted the body into an unnatural pose that you can't help but stop and stare at such great accomplishment.

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#5 Not leaving mobile devices in the change room during the one hour of class.

It's bad enough bringing a mobile into class and charging it, but to actually answer a call is just plain rude.

#6 When the class turns from yoga to martial arts with a swift kick.

This may not have been done on purpose, but getting kicked in the head by a fellow yogi during a down-dog split is never fun.

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#7 When you accidentally touch someone and their hair gets stuck on you.

It's hot and sweaty in there and hair just seems to find its way on you.

#8 Slippery when wet mats.

Sweating it out in class is completely natural and expected. It's when your neighbour's mat is so sweaty and wet that it begins to move slowly on to your own mat.

#9 Music that has not found its perfect volume or tunes.

Sometimes the music played in yoga studios feels like it's going to put you to sleep. Finding the right music and volume setting is a science.

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#10 The Stink

Wash your clothes much? How about that towel? Ever heard of deodorant? I'm all for sweating buckets on your mat, but don't do it at the expense of others. Sweating in an enclosed small room with someone that has a bad case of BO is torturous. With all that deep breathing going on, they must notice the pungent smell, right? Pardon me if I pass out or lose my lunch.

#11 Getting a fit of the giggles during Savasana.

Savasana is the final pose in a yoga class. It may seem odd to lie back and hear the yogi teacher talk about letting go of any inhibition, toxic behaviour, and wish you many blessings. This is part of yoga and it's not a joke, ever.

#12 The Om-ing Exhaler

Every yoga class has some degree of group om-ing, chanting, and deep breathing, but it's the spontaneous and abnormally loud om-ing exhales, the huge sighs, and other random noises that really annoy. We get it, you're releasing and relaxing, but keep the feel-good noises that border on sex sounds to a minimum.

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#13 Constantly checking the phone during class.

If you are waiting for an important call, email, or text it's best to just skip class that day or book it for a later time. It shows complete and total thoughtlessness and lack of consideration for others.

#14 THE SPACE HOG

News flash: Yoga can get crowded. So it's probably not the best idea to sit spread eagle on your mat before class begins, reading a newspaper, with iced tea to your left and two blocks strewn to your right. (This woman exists. She's in our 9 a.m. class on the daily.)

#15 THE TOWEL REBEL

We're surprised some people need this reminder, but, um, some do. Hot yoga gets really hot, and you're going to sweat a lot. Which is great--and, hey, detoxifying--but please remember to bring a towel. Lest you leave a puddle behind when class is over. We've stepped in one such puddle. #unpleasant

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#16 THE MAVERICK

Want to add a half moon to your Sun A? Cool. But if you're not planning to follow a sequence at all, it's best to practice at home. This one goes out to the guy who grunts with exertion as he attempts crow pose--during half pigeon.

#17 THE STAND-UP COMIC TEACHER

It's not only students who commit annoying sins. Yoga teachers can be superb--or kind of annoying. One type to avoid: the instructor who likes to bring her "wit" to class, then asks you why you're so serious and not smiling. Um, because I'm trying to balance on one leg, lady? But you'd probably kill at Second City.

#18 The Helper

Whether you're a beginner or well-seasoned yogi, we can all benefit from a little assistance and extra knowledge. That is, when it comes from someone you trust and at an appropriate time. Who is this know-it-all Joe Shmoe you've never seen before, rattling off the Sanskrit names to poses, and springing off his mat to assist some young yogi with her Down Dog? It's not only distracting to everyone else, but I'm sure the teacher isn't too psyched either. This person borderlines on being called "The Know-It-All" or "The Flirt."

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#19 The Chitchat

Whether she's gigglng away to her neighbor, chatting it up with the instructor, or gasp answering her cell phone, she's doing more yammering than yoga-ing. In case you didn't get the text or voice mail message, I'll spell it out loud for you: stop talking and start breathing. You probably don't realize it, but we're all here to listen to our breath and the occasional gentle instruction from the teacher. If I wanted to hear chitchat, I'd unroll my mat in the middle of the food court.

#20 The unabashed gas letter.

Sometimes farting happens in yoga. You are putting yourself in funky positions and every once in a while, you can't clench your butt tightly enough. It's unfortunate when that happens, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the person, who is letting lots of gas, and proudly. They think of yoga class as their own private fart n' queaf den.This is especially offensive if the room is crowded and they are right next to you. Please, have some respect for other people's sensibilities.