Things A Middle Aged Woman Should NEVER Wear, Seriously

#1 Halter Or Spaghetti Strap Tops

It takes a perfect body to wear these. And even then it doesn't always work out so well As you get older you have more sag and lots more to 'halt' so these make you look all sorts of squishy. Just say NO!

#2 Too Much Makeup

Do you see Tammy Faye Baker here? You think this looks pretty? If you're hiding your age under that clown face, it's not working. Too much makeup makes you look more wrinkly and droopy. And that's not a good thing. If you're over 45 and still wearing vibrant eye shadow you should be tarred and feathered!

#3 Full-Bodied Suits

Prints, vibrant stripes, animal patterns, it doesn't matter. Take off that unflattering body suit. You're not an astronaut or a deep sea diver! We don't need to see how time and gravity have altered your body.

#4 Shirts With Sayings

After age 25, you just look ridiculous. You're not 'hot' or a 'sexy grandma', you're just weird looking. And seriously, If you are over ten years old, please leave Snoopy and Snow White off of your shirt as well.

#5 Things that are Just Too Tight

Don't try to squeeze fifty pounds of flour into a 10-pound sack. If it doesn't fit, give it to charity, you look like an elephant in a peanut shell.

#6 Leather Outfits

Put down the leather and slowly back away from it...no one wants to see grandma dressed as a dominatrix!

#7 Knee High Boots

There's no reason you should be wearing knee boots because you're not a 16-year-old girl. The 80s are over! Actually, nobody at any age should wear these. There's nothing cute or sexy about knee high leather boots.

#8 The 80's Rock Star Look

Look, even Madonna and Cyndi Lauper outgrew this outfit. High heeled boots, a slit skirt, and what are you thinking?? If you're over 25 and still dressing sleazy, there is just no hope for you. Ding dong.. The 1950s through 1980s called. They want their trash back.

#9 Bright Red Lipstick

Let's leave the bright red and sensual lipstick to the younger ladies, you're way too cool to need the attention. In fact, lipstick should be avoided altogether, unless you're in a circus or trying to draw attention to yourself.

#10 Bikini Bathing Suits

It's an itsy bitsy teenie weenie bikini. Unless you're still rocking a hard body that's toned and curvy, don't be seen in public in a two piece skimpy bikini. They just weren't made for that. Again, this isn't a good look on anyone, let alone somebodys granny.

#11 Oversized Sunglasses

Why are you trying to make yourself look like a clown? They might be fun, but they're not mature. Splurge a little and buy a nice pair that actually fits.

#12 Glitter

Body glitter or eyeshadow. Just say NO! Save the glitter for things that should actually sparkle. Like a 17-year-old.

#13 Revealing Shirts And Tops

When it comes to showing too much cleavage, and you're over 45, AVOID. Nobody wants to see our wrinkly chests We don't EVER want to see a low cut shirt, those weren't made for you. Let's stick to turtlenecks, shall we?

#14 Saggy Clothing

You're not fooling anyone but yourself. You get older, things begin to move around and pop out in every direction. Wearing a bunch of oversized garments just makes you look more out of shape and lazy.

#15 Mini Skirts

If you aren't approximately 21 years old, ask permission from your close friends before leaving the house in one of these. Nobody is interested in what may be hidden under that thing, trust me. Nobody wants to see you sporting the mini.

#16 Things That Are Too Pink

PINK is made and targeted at teens and college girls. Not for over thirty-somethings. Wear your big girl panties, please. Grow up already!

#17 Leggings

Under no circumstances should you be wearing leggings. Ever! They were trendy for like six minutes in the 1980s. If you're reliving the past, it's time to move on and trash those Gawd awful things. Socks work just as well.

Categories

More