Things All Men Need To Understand And Get Over About Periods

#1

Here is the thing: periods are actually really rad. Our bodies are fascinating and intricate and do really amazing things. In women, there is a correlation between having a positive attitude towards menstruation and healthy behaviors and desires. Feeling good about periods behooves us all. The more you know, the less scary it is! And the less scary it is for men, the less women will have to worry what men think about periods! It’s win-win.

#2 It Isn't Like The Shining

Enough said, really.

OK, I'll elaborate. Periods don't just involve a blood-gush like something got loose in a water pipe. As women will know, the clotting action of blood and the shedding of the uterus lining mean that blood flow and texture will differ considerably throughout the five to seven days of the period. An ordinary period is not like blocking a fire hydrant. We aren't going to explode if we don't take a tampon out.

#3 The average woman will have her period for 38 years

That’s nearly four decades. Let that sink in for a moment. Girls typically begin their periods around age 12 and enter menopause, or the point where their period stops for good, around age 50.

#4 This is what cramps are like:

Imagine there is a tiny, evil gremlin inside of the lowest reaches of your stomach viciously trying to claw its way out of your bowels, tearing away at your insides in an attempt to free itself. Yes, they f*cking hurt.

#5 pregnancy test

A pregnancy test can detect a pregnancy SIX days BEFORE our missed period if we are pregnant by detecting the presence of a pregnancy hormone, so shut the f*ck up about it.

#6 Severe periods can be the sign of a serious medical condition

Approximately 6 to 10 percent of American women suffer from endometriosis, an excruciating condition that can bring about debilitating cramps, chronic back pain and more. It can also sometimes lead to infertility. Concerned women should talk to their doctors, who can test for the condition. Treatment options include hormonal therapy or surgery.

#7 THE BLOODY TRUTH

Now, as for whether it’s gross: yes, it is. It is the lining of a uterus. If you’re generally squeamish in life, you’re likely to be squeamish about this. Sometimes it has chunks. Sometimes it has a subtle but unique period smell. Sometimes it’s messy and slimy. It’s okay to feel a little funny in your stomach when you think about what it is, but it doesn’t mean it’s okay to think women’s bodies are disgusting. Because we’re fertile reproductive goddesses and this comes with the beauty of creating life. Namaste.

#8 Tampons Do Not Cause Us To Lose Our Virginity

This is a common myth among women as well, and it's due to a misunderstanding about the nature of the membrane inside the vagina in virgins (the hymen). Many people believe that it's some kind of bubble-like surface that instantly cracks, rips, or blows apart the second something substantial hits it hard enough — a penis, a tampon, whatever. The truth, however, is that the hymen radically differs in thickness between women, and that it's actually more like a perforated piece of paper.

Hymens are very stretchy and, in many women, simply develop larger and larger rips over time, sometimes in many different places (some hymens, unusually, can look like honeycomb). Tampons aren't designed to make hymens break; the period makes its way out whether you have a hymen or not. The only time virginity can be lost is when you actually have sex; that's it.

#9 Period Sex Is Great — If We Say So

Period sex is entirely possible, even awesome (and yes, you can still get pregnant, so use protection). The real problem for most women, if they have one with period sex, won't be the blood flow — it's the increased sensitivity of the vagina and surrounding areas because of the menstrual cycle.

A debate over at The Frisky outlined several of the benefits of period sex, including more lubrication and arousal; they also pointed out that the increased sensitivity of a woman's intimate areas can also be a benefit, because it can be easier to achieve orgasms (vaginal, clitoral, etc) while on the rag. Frankly, however, there's one element that can't be fixed by the lure of extra orgasms: if anybody manages to hit the cervix during intercourse, the game is probably over, so be careful about that.

#10 PMS is real.

It's so, so, so real. And cramps are real. So, so, so real. Basically, all the stuff women complain about in movies and a Cathy cartoon are real, so please don't question it because it'll just result in you never getting laid again or living to see tomorrow.

#11 Yes, we really do crave chocolate.

It's biological, and it can't and shouldn't be messed with. Just dump a bag of candy bars on our face and leave us alone for a week. Everything is gonna be OK.

#12 The seasons can affect how heavy the flow is

Summertime and the living’s easy? Research suggests that sunshine plays a role in periods. More specifically, if there’s increased sunlight before a woman’s ovulation (the time right before she gets her period), there’s a chance her actual menstrual cycle might be shorter.

#13 We need more naps.

Periods make you tired and the only thing that can cure that tired is falling asleep on the couch while crying along to YouTube videos of baby pandas farting. THEY'RE SO PRECIOUS AND LIFE IS A MIRACLE.

#14 BIRTH CONTROL PERIODS ARE A DIFFERENT BEAST

Assuming all goes according to plan (and it mostly does between 97 and 99 percent of the time), hormonal birth control stops ovulation. The “period” that women have when they’re on hormonal birth control (like birth control pills, for example) is not really a period at all. Most hormonal birth control options work on a 28 day cycle: 21 days of hormones and seven days of placebo. The drop in hormones is just enough for “withdrawal bleeding” to occur. While it looks and feels like the same thing, Aunt Flo on hormonal birth control is an imposter of sorts. It’s the fake orgasm of periods – it looks and feels real, but it doesn’t do the same thing to our bodies. In fact, many women on hormonal birth control skip that week altogether and carry onto the next three weeks of hormones.