Things You Should Always Keep Secret About Your Relationship

In the age of social media, our lives are becoming more and more public. We post about where we work, what kind of car we drive, where we’re out to eat and who we’re dating. While it’s fun to post pictures and statuses, Facebook, Instagram and other social media sites are often responsible for ending relationships. In order to keep your relationship healthy and intimate, there are some things you just shouldn’t be sharing with the world.

#1

“We have to recognize that there cannot be relationships unless there is a commitment unless there is loyalty unless there is love, patience, persistence.” – Cornel West, Breaking Bread: Insurgent Black Intellectual Life

Most of us that have been part of an intimate relationship have discussed some details of it within your social circle. Some of this dialogue is fun and harmless, yet there are certain parts of a relationship that shouldn’t be discussed with anyone besides your partner.

First, some relationship topics are entirely inappropriate to talk about, even with a ‘BFF’ or some other perceivably trustworthy third-party. Second, words have a way of quickly spreading, and, with the prolific use of social media, your “private matters” can quickly become public.

Also, consider how you would feel if your partner discussed private, intimate matters with someone else. Intimate relationships are special because of the intimacy – a physical and emotional connection shared by two people. Not three, not four. Two.

Here are six things to always keep secret about your relationship:

#2 Anything your partner tells you in confidence

Without trust, you have no relationship. If your partner tells you something in confidence, and you tell your best friend, it's one of the worst offenses because you've broken the trust, which is extremely difficult to come back from.

#3 Perceived imperfections

No man, or woman, is perfect. When you're in a relationship, you get to know a person at their deepest level, and find out about all of their little idiosyncrasies. Revealing those to someone else is a huge betrayal and can lead to major problems in a relationship.

#4 Fights or Arguments

Unless you are being emotionally or physically abused, you should keep any arguments or fights between you and your partner to yourself. The reason being is that there is no way you can offer a completely non-biased version of the fight to the person you are discussing it with, and while you and your friend may be able to come up with a resolution, it excludes your partner from the equation.

#5 Money Troubles

Many couples experience money troubles at some point in their relationship. This is an issue that should be discussed and worked out between the two of you. Talking to friends or family members about your partner’s spending habits or your money issues will only make things worse. If you need help, seek help in a financial adviser instead.

#6 ANYTHING SEX-RELATED

Talking about anything relating to sex should be considered a big no-no. Examples of such topics include: how often you do (or don’t) have sex, any sexual fantasies, problems in the bedroom, and so forth.

Engaging in conversation with someone else about your sexual experiences robs the relationship of its intimacy. No matter how big or small such details may be, conversing with anyone else about sex-related topics besides your partner is an act of deception.

In the event that sexual problems are creating distance, or otherwise causing friction in the relationship, therapeutic outlets exist that can help to resolve such issues. Furthermore, experts such as relationship therapists and counselors are bound by confidentiality agreements to keep all related matters private.

#7 Every Little Detail

Part of what makes your relationship special is that it’s just the two of you. The two of you share movie nights, date nights, last-minute adventures, unexpected gifts, silly moments and inside jokes. As tempting as it might be to share every little detail of your relationship with your friends or family members – whether things are going good or bad – letting someone else in completely takes away something special that the two of you share – intimacy, privacy and trust.

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