Thoughts Every Woman Had When She Saw It For The First Time
By
Sughra Hafeez in
Life Style
On 6th July 2017
Whether you’ve been keeping it classy and are on your honeymoon, or just want a saucy hookup after a night out, the moment of truth always happens when a guy pulls his pants down. Till then, you probably wonder if he is compensating for anything with his big Cadillac Escalade, or if his size 13 shoes mean that you’re in for the ride of your life.
Let’s say it like it is; you never want to have to ask, “Is it in yet?”, but you also don’t want to feel like you’re giving birth to triplets. Just like presents under a Christmas tree, you never know what kind of package you’re getting until you open it.
To make matters worse, the D somehow always ends up being smaller than advertised. Subway has already thought us what 6 inches looks like, so more often than not you’ll know if he lied to you. It ain’t 8 inches if it’s half of my turkey and ham sandwich, boo.
Sometimes the surprise is a happy one, and sometimes we can be left sadly disappointed and underwhelmed. Some people are better than others at hiding their initial authentic reactions, whether good or bad. Others are absolutely terrible liars and their sentiment will completely be exposed. Check out these 15 thoughts every woman has had when she saw it for the first time.
#1 “Where’s The Rest?”
If you’ve just fallen on one that hasn’t been blessed with much, I sure hope for you he’s really a good person. Often times the nicest guys will have either huge ones or little ones, so your odds aren’t that bad. But like surprise bags you got as a kid, you only know when you open the package.
You know that size doesn’t actually matter, but you just wish he had at least an extra inch to offer, if only for good looks. Ultimately, if a guy doesn’t know what he’s doing, you’re not going to enjoy it no matter what size it is. But rejoice, guys with small cucumbers are usually talented in other aspects. Who knows maybe he’ll eat the cupcake just how you like it. *wink wink*
#2 "Score—he's a manscaper!"
You're not afraid of a little fuzz, but it's definitely more enjoyable if you don't have to maneuver around those hairs.
#3 “Is It Too Late To Say No?”
Sometimes you just don’t like what you see and you have to figure out a way to get yourself out of the situation. You’re just hoping not to hurt his feelings or make him mad, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Instead of having a terrible time, you might as well cut your losses early.
Don’t feel bad though, guys are known to be less picky than girls, and it ain’t your fault if you have standards. The traditional way of saying no to sex is tickling the pickle, but let’s face it; no one likes giving one. You shake, shake, shake and pretend you’re into it but your wrist is tired and you just want to leave.
If you’re not ready to put that much effort into it, a simple “I’m on my period”, or “I’m tired”, should do the trick.
#4 "Hmm, I've never seen that kind of curve before."
Like snowflakes, fingerprints, and Beyoncé's hairstyles, no two penises are exactly alike—except maybe ones belonging to identical twins. Note to self: Google that later.
#5 "It kind of looks like one of those wrinkly dogs."
Turns out, this guy is uncircumcised and is hiding a tiny pug in his pants.
#6 "It looks like he's a shower, not a grower."
He has all his cards on the table, and you're not mad about it.
#7 "Is that an ingrown hair, or..."
Oh, man, looks like it's time for the STD talk. Better safe than sorry.
#8 "OMG, this might be a genuine micropenis!"
You've only read about these extremely rare peens, and now that you're face-to-face with one, you feel like you've won a sexual treasure hunt. Hopefully, your prize is mind-blowing oral.
#9 "Would it be weird if I named it?"
Obviously, it's his property—but you can't help but feel a little territorial about the thing that's going to get so well acquainted with your lady-parts.
#10 "Where else has this been?"
If his member could talk, you would ask it about all the locations it's explored. Hey, you're just curious. Unfortunately, you'll just have to ask your partner.
#11 "Let's test this baby out."
Now that you're done inspecting the goods, it’s time to take him for a test drive.
#12 "Woah, I definitely should not have judged this guy on his height."
Surprise—it's huge! You did not see that one coming.
#13 Would it weird if I called it?
Of course, it is his property, but you can not help but feel a little territorial about the thing that is so good to know to get your lady parts.
#14 Woah, I certainly did not this man have judged his height.Surprise it’s huge!
#15 Let’s take this baby tests.Now that you have finished inspecting the goods, it is time to take him for a test drive
