This TikTok mom revealed three things that she never says to her kids and the internet loved it. She says her objective is to never belittle her children and to always give them an explanation for things.
advertisement
New parents are always working to do a better job than their own parents. They learn from the things they experienced as children and take the good and hope to fix the bad. This is what Destini Ann did as she reveals in her now-viral TikTok video.
Destini who is a single mom has over a million followers on TikTok. These videos however went viral far beyond her own circles.
advertisement
These are some of the highlights of her advice.
“Here are three things I never say to my kids. And by never, I mean, “mostly never, try not to!
- I’m the adult, you are the child.
- I’m big you are small
- Listen to me because I said so
I don’t have to belittle you to get you to listen to me. I’m more creative than that. So instead, I’ll say something like, “You can trust Mommy. I promise, I got your back!”
advertisement
The second thing she said she never does is to tell her kids to stop crying.
“2. I never say ‘Stop crying!’ Kids cry. Adult’s cry. What I will say instead is, “Oh baby why are you crying?” Or even better, “Oh, you’re crying? What do you need?”
“’Why are you crying?’ is great but it is still focusing on the problem. ‘What do you need?’ immediately gets us to focus on how we can solve it. “I need a band-aid, I need a hug, I need a nap!!” That’s always my problem!”
And finally, she says she likes to pay attention to the specifics of her children’s achievements.
“3. And then lastly, I try really, really hard not to just say “Good job!”. Instead, I want to give them specific reasons why I’m proud of them or why I think they did good. It shows my kids that I really am present with them and it is great for our relationship.”
“So, if my child brings me a picture, instead of saying, ‘Oh, you did a good job!’ I’m going to say, ‘Oh my gosh. I love how you swirled the purple and the blue together.’ Or ‘Oh man. Last time you drew one bunny and this time you drew two. That looks so cute!”
Giving them specifics lets them know I’m actually paying attention, I’m here with you and I love what you did.”
Commenters were loving her parenting style. This one said that she inspired them to be better parents once they have children.
advertisement
This one was happy someone pointed out the toxicity in the power dynamics of aggressive parenting.
This user who had been on the receiving end of toxic parenting practices says they try to be forgiving but struggle with the trauma of it still.
This one was surprised at how simple it all sounded.
