What are These? Things for Ants?!

#1 What is That? A Hill for Ants?!

"Oh wow, what a steep hill. How will I ever climb it?" That's what I'd say... if I were an ant!

It's, like, some kind of ant... hill! Who's ever even heard of one of those?! Call me back when you have a real hill.

#2 What are you Holding? Lers for Ants?!

See, I say "Lers for Ants" because they're antlers that are also for ants! I guess I could have said "ant-lers" but I felt like I just did that joke a minute ago with the deodor-ant picture, so I went with this instead. Stop questioning my choices!

#3 What's That? A Comfortable Work Environment for an Ant!?

Yeah, I get that ants may want a quiet place to get their writing done, but I'm a person! How am I supposed to fit in that chair? I'd break it in a second, and then I'd feel fat! I've just started to get over my body issues, and now you do this to me?!

#4 What did you Build? Business Buzzwords for Ants?!

I need my vague corporate mantras to be at least two feet tall! The only ones who would get motivated by this diminutive word would be ants! Also, why is that one in the front not helping the rest of them? Is he not a team player?!

#5 What are Those? Corporate Earnings for Ants?!

I'm not even sure that's legal tender! The only store that would accept that tiny bill is some kind of ant store! I guess it's all about the Benjam-ants!

#6 Who's That? A Natural Predator for Ants?!

That's such a stupid-looking predator. The only ones who would ever be afraid of this doofus would be ants! Geez, these pictures are making me so mad!

#7 What are you Writing With? A Hand for Ants?!

Pencils are really small. So, the only reason your hand would be this small relative to a pencil is if you had the hand of an ant! That's literally the only possible explanation! I've thought this through a lot!!

#8 What'd You Paint? Italian Renaissance Portraiture for Ants?!

That's such a striking likeness of Lisa Gherardini, the wife of Francesco del Giocondo.

...I'm sorry, did I say the wife of Francesco del Giocondo? I meant the wife of ants! She's way too small to be married to a man. Come on, dude. I can barely see the brush strokes!

#9 What's That? The World's Largest Ball of Video Tape for Ants?!

And don't even get me started on that twine ball next to it. Yeah, I'd be really impressed with these massive-scale structures... if I were an ant!

so

#10 What did you Install? A Marquee for Ants?!

That sign is perfect... for an ant-sized pharmacy! Then, they'd know where to get all their ant medicine and use their ant cash-back rewards!

Sorry, CVS. I'm going to the human pharmacy.

#11 What's on Your Plate? Delicious Mexican Cuisine for Ants?!

I can practically smell those warm, crunchy, delicious tacos... Tacos for ants, that is! Look at how small they are! I'd have to eat a hundred of them!

#12 What is This? A Mug for Aunts?!

..Oh. I guess it is.

Carry on, then.

#13 Where's he Drinking? At Oktoberfest for Ants?!

Even an ant would consider that glass too small for any real party, pal!

...Actually, that's not true. It's quite large for an ant. But still, in the scheme of beer glasses, it's really small! Geez!

#14 What are you Playing? PaRappa the Rapper for Ants?!

I love the song the karate guy sings in that game. You know, "Kick, punch, it's all in the mind."

...The mind of an ant, that is! Seriously, look how small those joysticks are. How do you expect me to play?! Get me a normal-sized PlayStation!

#15 What are you Eating? A Balanced Breakfast for Ants?!

Oh, great idea starting your morning with some starch, fruit, a little fat, and some caffeine. That'll get you ready to go off to work... at the ant farm!

(To be clear, you work at the ant farm because you're an ant in this scenario, not the human who packages up the ant farms or anything like that. Sorry if it was confusing. My point is, it's small, ok?!)

#16 What is That? Anty-Perspirant?!

...Wait, no, that title's not right. "Anty-perspirant" would be a product that makes ants sweat. Let me try again.

I guess you could call this, deodor-ant!

Ha! Nailed it!

#17 What is This? A Pumpkin for Ants?!

Seriously, did they have little ant farmers plant ant seeds and grow that pumpkin so they can carve an ant-faced jack-o-lantern? Because that's the only way anyone's going to enjoy that thing!

#18 What are you Reading? Religious Dogma for Ants?!

You know who wrote this spiritual tome? Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Ant!

(And not "Ant" as in "Short for Anthony." I'm talking about the tiny insect! Boom! Roasted!!)

#19 What's That? A Spoiler for Ants?!

Your gas mileage is only going to increase by an ant-sized portion with that tiny spoiler, buddy!

#20 What is That? A Tree House for Ants?!

If I wanted ants to stay up all night telling each other scary stories and roasting marshmallows with their friends on brisk summer nights, then yeah, maybe I'd give them this tree house. But what about people? Don't they deserve a childhood, too?!