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What Kind Of Manhood Is He According To His Zodiac

By Shehzad in Zodiac and Horoscope On 15th September 2016

We can all agree, no matter how significant a role they play in terms of the survival of the human planet, a penis is kind of funny. They’re wormy appendages with the face of a mushroom and the body of a muscular pole. Its legs are a pair of balls in a fuzzy potato sack and its hair is a mess of perpetual frizz. So, if you think you want to laugh, laugh. On that same note, however, penises can also be incredibly handsome and sexy. This, of course, may depend on your mood (are you horny or are you kind of over it sexually?). Whatever the case may be, a man isn’t defined by his penis, nor should he be. Well… until now, at least. Keep reading to find out what kind of penis he is, according to his Zodiac?

#1 Aries.

He's an energetic penis. At the drop of a hat, he's up and ready to go and doesn't need much motivation. Though he may not be the most refined looking penis, what he lacks in physical beauty, he makes up for in capability and drive. He's a powerhouse of a penis.

#2 Pisces.

He's an exciting penis. Whereas most penises tend to fall into the category of "run of the mill," his is the exception. He dazzles you with his trimming abilities and... do you detect a hint of smoked leather and gardenias? He may clean up unusually, but he cleans up well.

#3 Libra.

He's what they might refer to as a "boyfriend penis." He's not overwhelming, he's not lacking he's a perfectly comfortable fit. He's the kind of penis who wants to fit into your life (so to speak) with ease and comfort, without making much of a fuss along the way. He's a romantic and a charmer, so this only makes sense.

#4 Gemini.

He's a bit of a shriveled, but determined penis. Though this isn't the kind of d*ck you're likely to see in a decent porno, it's capable of pulling through quite efficiently, despite its conditions. Size doesn't matter, and that's been proven. If anything, it may as well have been proven by him.

#5 Scorpio.

He's an oversized penis. He wants to feel confident in the fact that he's probably the biggest you've ever seen, but in all honesty, he's a bit much. He confuses pain with power, but he doesn't tend to pay attention to the facts. He might be fun to look at, but when it comes to usage, you're far more likely to pass.

#6 Aquarius.

He's a cute penis. When he's exposed, he's not exactly the kind of penis you want to leap after and play with, but at the same time, he's hardly a repellent. It's not particularly easy to get him hard, and that's because he seems so comfortable just doing his own thing, but when he has to put his best foot forward, he does so with charm.

#7 Cancer.

He's a freaky penis. His penis is as out of control as he is. It's got some strange color patterns, the hair is unkempt and even the balls look questionable. This makes sense, seeing as how emotionally out of control he is. You might want to run a comb through that situation.

#8 Taurus.

He's a kind, if not typically flaccid, penis. It's just in his nature to be naturally laid back and comfortable with the notion of taking it easy. If needed, he's more than happy to rise to the occasion, but for the most part, he takes it slow. He'd rather be safe beneath a pair of comfortable Hanes than out in the open amid potential harm.

#9 Capricorn.

He's an angry-looking, but capable penis. His pubes are all over the place, his color palette is sort of all over the place (is that a birthmark or a circumcision line?) and he could do without all of those moles. But he always gives it the old college try, and for that, you've got to give him some credit.

#10 Virgo.

He's a handsome penis. His penis reflects him in how manicured and put together he is. The hair is trimmed, the balls are smooth and the penis itself is impeccably balanced. If you've got yourself a Virgo, hold onto that one nice and tight but not too tight. That'll hurt.

#11 Leo.

He's quite a massive penis. His proclivity towards giving people what they want (and maybe even what they need) is more than evident. He's quite good at finding many ways to bring the pleasure, and even though he might seem a bit overwhelming at times, he always gives you more than you expected.

#12 Sagittarius.

He's a comfortable, if not sort of quirky, penis. Though it's not exactly the prettiest d*ck you've laid your eyes on, there's something about it that gives him his charm. Maybe it's the fact that he's skilled at grooming himself, which kind of takes away from the goofy shape or size. He's not ideal, but he's fun to play with.

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