Why Kids Annoy Everyone... ESPECIALLY Their Own Parents!

Kids are annoying. As parents, we do love our children but we're also on the front lines of the war to turn them into decent, less annoying adults. Yet, it's taboo for a parent to recognize how annoying their kid(s) are to others. Here's a safe space where we can commiserate.

#1 They're sticky... no really... all the time.

All the time. They're practically never not sticky, including immediately following a bath or shower. Somehow they're still sticky, even then.

#2 The never-ending questions.

Even when you answer the question and the five million why's that follow it... they will ask it again... and again... same one... over and over and over again.

#3 Your Ex could take stalking pointers from them.

They're always there. When you're taking a shower. When you're paying the bills. When you need to take a crap. They're there, 2 inches from your face, staring at and creeping you out in the middle of the night, and they're there, 2 inches from your face, staring at you and destroying your ability to sleep at the crack of dawn. They accompany you when you're doing laundry, feeding the dogs, washing the dishes, and vacuuming the carpet, clutching your clothing and dangling from every appendage. Privacy simply is not a thing when you have kids. Essentially, they want to wear your skin round the clock.

#4 They don't hear you.

Really. They're ears are permanently plugged when it comes to adult voices.

#5 It's probably because they're so loud.

To be fair, they likely can't hear anything over the sound of themselves. It's not just screaming. Kids are loud in everything they do. Crying, laughing, talking, jumping, whispering... everything they do is LOUD.

#6 Their whine... It can drive you to drink.

Nothing hits the nerves like that whine.

#7 Snot.

There's not enough tissues in the world to get them away from the snot!

#8 They are ALWAYS finding new ways to become filthy.

It doesn't matter if it's dirt, grass, food, or body fluid, it's all over them, which means it's also all over you, your walls, your carpet, and your furniture, and no amount of Spray âÂ€Â˜n Wash or Magic Eraser can make that shit go away.

#9 They’re the kings and queens of inconsistency.

One day they like spaghetti, the next they don't. They say they want to wear the red pajamas, but the second you get them out, they scream for the green ones. They like veggies, they hate veggies. They like fruit, they hate fruit. They like to ride their bikes, they hate to ride their bikes. Rest assured, no matter what you think you know and no matter what you do, it's wrong. Today anyway. Tomorrow

#10 They’re like drunk fraternity members.

They stumble around, spill shit, slur their words, and knock everything down. They take their pants off in the middle of the living room and fall asleep in the bathtub. They're obsessed with their private parts and take every opportunity to tell company the intimate details of your most embarrassing moments. They hit the bottle hard and keep you up at all hours of the night, and worst of all, they're up and ready to do it all over again the next day.

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