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“Please just clean around me.”
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“I can’t imagine I’ll be going in tomorrow after this pasta-strophe. Bringing my own lunch IS NOT WORTH THIS.”
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“I FIND NOWHERE RELAXING AT THIS POINT, WHICH IS A PROBLEM.”
“No. more. data. please.”
“I’M FINE WITH WORKING LATE TONIGHT. THANK YOU FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY.”
“This commute is getting RIDICULOUS.”
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“Am I home? I don’t even know what home is anymore.”
“Sometimes, I like to pretend I’m on a fabulous vacation. ANYWHERE BUT THE OFFICE.”
“OUR DRESS CODE IS STIFLING MY CREATIVITY.”
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“Screw you, Paul, and your mandatory daily meetings.”
“Oops, can’t come in today. My bed ate me.”
“I remember what life is like outside my cubicle. I think it was green and leafy.”
“I literally can’t take one more of Cheryl’s terrible jokes.”
“Another day, another dollar, am I right? Hehehe. Hmm.”
“JUST LET ME BE FREE FROM YOUR CAPITALIST PRISON.”
