If you're a dad, or even just a parent in general, you know what kind of texts you DON'T want to receive from your daughter. You know...anything that has to do with anything fun: like sex and partying. If you're not a parent yet, just imagine the absolute worst texts you could receive from your precious little girl and then imagine it actually happening. That feeling in your stomach? Yeah, that's vomit.
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#1 A whole lot of fatherly NOPE.
#2 This is why your daughter should never date a guy named Dave or Daniel or Damien...or put his name in her phone as Daddy ;)
(people have weird fetishes, I don't know).
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#3 "I'M DOING FINE" should really save that whole $#^%show of a conversation.
#4 SNAP.
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#5 Someone's going to get a hurt.
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#6 ...WHY ISN'T HE ANSWERING?!
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#7 NOT YOUR MOTHER'S CORPSE, DAMN IT MONICA!
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#8 I told you. Don't date guys named DAN! No one listens to me... -_-
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#9
As a dad, you'd never be able to unsee this, and as a man, you never usually would want to...but somehow the universe decided to be a dick and gave you a super hot daughter.
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#10 ...Oh GOD.
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#11 Good to know you taught her safety first.
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#12 Drugs or a boyfriend...not sure what's worse for a father.
#13 OH DEAR GOD, NO, LILY, NO!
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#14 Mom's shaved pork will forever be tainted by this memory.
#15 ... Oh...mom.
