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1. If she is wearing matching and nice underwear: the sex wasn’t your decision
2. If you’re complaining about sneezing mid pee, try having your period when you’ve got hay-fever
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3. If its hers, its hers; if its yours, its hers
4. The longer you date us, the less smooth our legs will always be
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5. Sometimes we are in a bad mood just because and if you ask me one more time if I am on my ‘time of the month’ I will cut you.
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6. Your ex may be your past, but she is our present and future and we will trawl the internet and all of her social media and definitely judge her, and probably you.
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7. No two of us are the same so stop thinking that you know what you’re doing because of your mum or your aunt or your sister or your granny or your ex.
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8. A girl has her period ONCE a month; if she’s had it four times in the last 5 weeks, she doesn’t want to have sex with you.
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9. Women grab their crotches too; just not in public.
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10. Women always want dessert – don’t turn the pudding menu down until she does first else all your hard graft from the evening dinner has just gone down the loo and you’re in for a long night of tears and tantrums about you thinking that she needs to ‘lose a few’
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11. She will make more of an effort for your friends and the other boys in the world than she will for you; this isn’t her trying to seduce them or find something better… its just because you both have pride over the way she looks.
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84683783 12. She prefers granny pants and bras if they have to be worn, and don’t you dare complain: you try placing your headphone wire in-between your arse crack and go for a walk and see how you get on
13. Sometimes we enjoy not showering and being ugly for 24 hours or more at a time because we just can’t be bothered, and because we know how fucking good we will feel when we actually make an effort
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14. Speaking of which, we wear make up for us. Not you.
15. Her best friend knows everything – and I mean EVERYTHING. (its alright it happens to all guys) sorry
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16. Every girl is (slightly) mental. Some are just better at hiding it than others.
#17
