16 Reasons Being An Old Person Is Actually The Sh*t

#1 Transportation options are infinite.

Everything is a potential vehicle. You wanna perch atop a rocking horse while whipping your elderly wife? Nobody's stopping you.

#2 You look cooler with tattoos

Everyone knows that the answer to the-age old question "but what will it look like in 50 years?" is "f*cking awesome, mom."

#3 You can wear anything you damn well please.

Honesty is the best policy.

#4 Like, whatever. you. want.

Let 'em know, y'kno?

#5 Any picture of you with your significant other automatically becomes a #RelationshipGoal.

Especially if you're flipping off the camera.

#6 you're having a good time.

Imagine the ability to perpetually rock the bitchy resting face without having someone constantly comment on it.

#7 You don't have to step aside for any reason.

Or any person. Or an entire classroom of people, for that matter.

#8 You can sit wherever you want.

Just to prove a point. Even if it's hella uncomfortable

#9 Or literally do whatever you want, whenever you want.

"Hello sir, can I give you a hand?" an Apple Store employee asked this man (just kidding, but a girl can dream).

#10 The worst situations are still somehow funny.

Nothing is that big a deal when your pants come up to your nipples.

Nothing is that big a deal when your pants come up to your nipples.

#11 As an unwritten rule, you become immune to legal repercussions at a certain age.

His wife's all ready with the unzipped purse for when 5-0 rolls through.

#12 Retirement just means more time to troll Walmart.

#13 You become braver.

The relationship between age and courage is a correlating one. You're much more likely to punch a bear in the face for trying to eat your Chihuahua at 73 than at 23.

#14 You are no longer afraid of your own mortality.

And you want the whole world to know.

#15 Your selfies only get better with age.

Much like a fine wine, the art of the senior selfie requires a delicate balance of giving-zero-f*cks and wtf-is-going-on.

#16 You finally get one of THESE.

No explanation needed here.