9 Small Steps That Can Help You Avoid Becoming A Hikikomori

#1. Hug a person, plushie or pillow for at least 20 seconds and it'll make your brain happy

If you've gotten behind on things or not achieved what you wanted, you'll likely be mad at yourself. But hating and treating yourself bad will only make you feel worse and zap your motivation for anything. If you're mad or feeling bad, get a hug!

Hugs and cuddling releases oxytocin from your hypothalmus and the "love hormone" plays a part in alleviating depression and helping adjust your brain chemistry (since even our brain can get stuck in ruts, pumping out the wrong chemicals that can make you feel bad - especially if you're under 30). Hugging a person is best since it adds intimacy but hugging a plushie or pillow can have a similar effect - but it has to be more than a 20 second hug.

#2. Do one small productive task to start

The longer you're stuck in a system of escaping reality through books/shows/games, the harder it is to start that first important task that needs to get done.

Jumping straight into knocking out big tasks is cool but not necessarily reasonable. Just like when you were a kid returning to school, you couldn't write an 8 page essay the first day back at school - your hand would cramp up and it'd be hard to find what to say! But if you'd been writing every day in class for an entire year, an 8 page paper wouldn't seem like much. If you've been unproductive for awhile, treat yourself like a kid and ease into work with a small task that can give you some confidence. Do the dishes, organize your drawer, clean the windows, or clean up your computer bookmarks. Do just one task and if you feel good after, you can tackle another or do something later.

#3. Make a top 5 to-do list

Letting everything you have to do roll around in your brain can stress anyone out. Getting it on paper allows you to see just how big (or small) it is.

Once it's on paper, break it into smaller tasks you can accomplish that day and choose the top 5 things you want to get done today. If you feel you should do more, you can choose 5 more tasks but these are secondary and are the bonus round if you finish your top 5 fast.

Doing just 5 important things a day is much more progress than doing 20 things a day then never again because it was so stressful and tiring.

#4. Realize easy doesn't mean happy

The modern age is great since technology has made so many basic tasks, like finding drinkable water or finding clothes to wear, so incredibly easy. But easy and comfortable doesn't mean happy and sometimes we can confuse uncomfortable (like "I don't want to get out of bed") for unhappy. But in reality, our ancestors have always had it tough and worked longer hours than many of us ever will. There can be pride found in a job done right and joy in everything you do (or we can at least make the things we don't like a little more bearable).

The truth is that often happiness, dreams, and a good life are often achieved with a balance of hard work and relaxing so both should be had in equal measure. Even if it's tough sometimes, you're on the road to happiness and can be proud at the end of the day.

#5. Write an honest letter to yourself

Emotions are great since they give you joy and hope but they also can drive you down with regret or hidden anger. Separate yourself out into two beings - the logical part of you and the emotional part of you. We all have this mess of feelings inside that we often don't understand so taking the time to unravel what's inside can drastically change your life and perspective and why you might be avoiding tasks or escaping inside.

Here's some things you can ask yourself aloud right now

Today I'm feeling (happy/sad/tired/upset/anxious/annoyed/etc)

I'm feeling like this probably because __________

What I want to feel is _________

I can feel the way I want by ___________

#6. Broaden your horizons

It's easy to feel boxed in so sometimes the best thing to do is to try to look farther than you ever have before. The key is to do things that appeal to you but also try things you know nothing about - your life and world view will be the same if you keep doing what you always have! So go somewhere new, watch a documentary, volunteer, or try a new hobby.

#7. Do one small thing just for yourself a day

Even if you're mad at yourself or don't think you've done anything to deserve it, you should do one nice thing for yourself a day. It's your reward for surviving the day. It can be watching your favorite tv show, having a great dessert, or going for a long walk on a nice day. My favorite thing is to get some warm tea and read a book or manga for 20 minutes with no interruption.

#8. Practice kaizen

Kaizen means continuous improvement and the philosophy is used mainly in business to say that everyone from the lowest clerk to the highest CEO should work to improve in a small way everyday. Seen through this lens, nobody is perfect and failures will happen, but they're just another chance to improve. There is no final end point, we're all on a spectrum and over time getting to the level of skill we want to be at. So every small step is an improvement, even if you mess up - you've just learned something that can make you better.

#9. Be kind to yourself and find a few things you're grateful for

You're going to do great things so try not to stress and beat yourself up when things aren't perfect. There's a long journey ahead so why not enjoy everyday? Try to find 5 things you're grateful for a day, small or big things, and next time you step out of the house you might be excited to do it.