9 Types Of Selfies You Are No Longer Allowed To Take In 2015

2014 may have been, according to sources marginally more qualified than I, the year of the selfie. It was a year when we were all constantly mastering Instagram filters, figuring out how to smize, and generally documenting the best version of how we look. And while selfies in general are pretty harmless, and will no doubt continue in 2015 and beyond, it's important that we take a look at the specific kinds of selfies that are just no longer acceptable in the New Year.

#1 The "Look At This Crazy Shit Behind Me" Selfie.

Maybe if it's a celebrity, or something genuinely crazy/worthy of documenting, it's okay to take a quick selfie. But posting up in front of someone dressed inappropriately, or extremely large, or doing something you generally shouldn't do in society, only to snap a selfie, is rude as hell. If you are accruing a bunch of likes on your "look at this whack shit" selfies, you probably are friends with a good amount of idiots.

#2 The "Criminal Abuse of Filters" Selfie

Filters are a delicate thing: Too few, and you come dangerously close to revealing your real-life flaws, which is the opposite of the point of Instagram. But too many filters, and you suddenly have one of those struggle selfies that clearly were taken in the pitch black, when you were having a bad skin day, and drunk. If you have to manipulate more than three visual aspects of the selfie before posting it, you should probably just wait and take another.

#3 The "Look How Much I Love These Carbs"

This year we were treated -- after the barrage of ~lifestyle bloggers~ who wear a size two and post non-stop photos of burgers and donuts -- to the Instagram You Did Not Eat That, a collection of the phenomenon in all its toned-stomached, carb-laden glory. And honestly, there is nothing wrong with enjoying unhealthy food in moderation and being able to maintain a model figure while doing so. But if you alternate between food porn and bikini shots, please know that you are making the whole world collectively roll its eyes. Because, let's be honest, you definitely did not eat all of that.

#4 The "#Fat, Tee hee" Selfie

If you are a person of normal size who tags your selfies with #fatselfie or #fatkid or #ughfat, please stop. Please, for everyone's sanity, stop. You're not being cute, and while your friends might be kind enough to give you the "OMG STOP U R PERFECT" comments that you are seeking, it doesn't mean that you aren't being the worst.

#5 The "Racist"

This one shouldn't need any explanation, but just in case, if you were ever considering taking a selfie or a costume pic that mocks or imitates another race -- even if you think it's "flattering" for them (lol) -- don't do it. It's just a terrible idea.

#6 The "I look awesome and everyone else looks like crap" selfie.

No one likes when someone puts up a picture of us where they look great and we look completely busted, so why would we do this to someone else? It's just unfair. Even if it means you have to take a couple more potential shots, in 2015, we should all make an effort to post only pictures where everyone looks reasonably good, and we aren't looking deceptively good in comparison with everyone else, who is mid-sneeze or rocking a double chin. It's just common selfie courtesy.

#7 The "Hot Mess"

Drunkenness/intoxication generally means that you should not be taking any pictures of yourself to document the occasion. While it may feel like a good idea to tell all your friends and followers how turnt you are at this party via a sloppy bathroom mirror selfie, it's something you will probably regret (and promptly delete) in the morning. Over the age of, say, 19 years old, it's something you just shouldn't be engaging in. We've had enough experience with selfies as a society to know that this is just a bad idea.

#8 The "Aftersex" Selfie

You may have heard a few things this year about one of the many tEeNaGe InTeRnEt CrAzeS, the after-sex selfie, all of them bad. But there are two important things to note here: One, full-grown adults who (hopefully) no longer see sex as a life-changing novelty event are participating in the trend, and two, at the ripe old age of 25, I don't consider myself some pearl-clutching parent, but I am definitely offended by the existence of this trend. We are all better than this, and it's not generational. Put your clothes on, and keep your smartphones out of the bed in 2015.

#9 The "Myspace Angle"

You would think, given its name, that this selfie would have stopped appearing on our feeds years ago. After all, a selfie taken from two feet above your head, angled straight down at your body (and often cropped around your face) doesn't make anyone look casually flawless, which is the ideal selfie aesthetic. Unless you are doing this ironically with a selfie stick (which even then, why would you do that?), you should probably stick to shooting yourself from a normal, flattering distance.

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