A Compilation Of The Most Embarrassing Bathroom Moments For Women

#1 Having To Take A #2 During A Date Or At Your Man’s

No. Nope. Nah. No way.

Hm, how many other ways can I say no? Because I’d like to include them all.

Having to go #2 at work is one thing, but having to go #2 at your guy’s apartment is a whole other issue. Sure, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. He knows you’re human, after all. However, the thing about dating someone new is that you don’t want him to know you’re human. You want to be a mythical creature who is hairless in all the right places, always had good breath, and never does anything gross in the bathroom. Even if you’re in a committed relationship, it can be awkward.

Oh, there’s also the issue of his bathroom being gross in and of itself. You might not even want to put your bum on that toilet seat, girl.

You may be banging on the regular, but you probably still don’t want to go #2 in his apartment. No. Nope. Nah. No way.

#2 That ‘This Is What I Look Like?!’ Moment

You’ve spent approximately 37 hours doing your makeup. You look like Kim Kardashian meets Jennifer Lopez meets Gigi Hadid meets Margot Robbie. You’re a queen.

After dancing and drinking with your friends though, you may look a little less than perfect. In fact, you’ll have that horrifying moment in the bar bathroom, during which you look in the mirror and see your 37 hours of glam squading yourself had been destroyed by sweat. You only have one fake eyelash on. Your lipstick has left that awful rim around your lips. Your contour has sweated off.

Why did you even spend a whole day getting ready?

Why didn’t your friends tell you how you look?

Why are dudes even talking to you?

What is happening in the world?

Okay, calm down. There is nothing more embarrassing than realizing you didn’t look as hawt as you thought you did, but clean yourself up and get back out there.

#3 The Good Ol’ Fashioned DIY Toilet Paper Pad

Isn’t it fun to get your period and be completely unprepared for it? And by fun, I mean the worst thing to ever happen to you.

If you’re in a public restroom and you get your period early, what do you do? You could ask a kind looking stranger, who may take pity on your bloody, unprepared soul. However, if the bathroom is empty, you’re out of luck in that department. Instead, you may do the ol’ toilet paper pad move. You know what I’m talking about. You take about 100 yards of toilet paper and stuff it in your underwear to be a makeshift pad. It hardly works and it’s the bulkiest thing in the world. You’ll 100% be aware of it and worried until you’ve returned home to all your glorious tampons, pads, and panty liners.

By the way, how did women even SURVIVE back in the day?

#4 Making Sure Everything Is Fresh Before A Hookup

When you’re planning on hooking up with a guy you’re into, you’ll want to look good, feel good, smell good, and taste good. The look good part is easy to accomplish. Just glam squad yourself and go. Feeling good can be in the figurative sense of feeling confident or the literal sense of being hairless and smooth, either way you can take care of that with shaving, lotion, and sexy underwear. The other two – smelling good and tasting good – can be harder to handle. I mean, if you’re out on a date or at a busy bar, you could get sweat and gross in some areas you’d rather stay fresh and ladylike. Before the hookup, you may run to his bathroom and sniff out the situation. The fact that you’re smelling your lady areas and even freshening up with a wash cloth is something you probably don’t want anyone to see ever. It’s not your finest moment.

But hey, as long as you smell refreshing and taste delicious during the hook up, the means are worth the ends.

#5 Having To Take A #2 At Work

Public restrooms may be necessary in life, but sometimes they are the worst thing in the world, especially if you have to take a #2. Hard pass on that one.

This situation may arise in college, as many dorms require people to use public bathrooms every day. While that sucks, you’re also all in the same boat. You all have to shower, shave, change your tampons, throw up those Jell-O shots, and do your #2 in those public bathrooms. So, there’s a certain understanding. You’re all in it together, just doing embarrassing bathroom stuff together.

When you join the work force, this sense of bathroom camaraderie is gone. If you feel the need to go #2 at work, you’ll likely feel like you’re the only person to ever have to go #2 at work, which isn’t true. Us ladies work long hours and many of us may have to, um, attend to our bodies while at work. Yes, it’s embarrassing to be possibly stinking up the bathroom your co-workers use. But if you got to go, you got to go.

#6 Finding Out You’ve Had A Period Leak

Of all the lovely little surprises that can happen to you in the bathroom, finding out you’ve had a period leak is one of the worst. This can happen either when you’ve gotten your period without knowing or you’re having a heavy day. Whatever the case, leaking through to your jeans, dress or skirt is not an ideal situation for anyone, especially if it’s a white skirt. But also, probably don’t wear a white skirt when you have your period. That’s like dancing with the devil. Wearing darker colors during your period is best, since it will camouflage any leakage.

What you’re wearing aside, this is a hectic clean up situation, especially if you’re out in public. Ah, what fun it is to be a woman, right? RIGHT?!

#7 Three Letters: UTI

This isn’t, like, the most embarrassing in terms of messiness, because it’s really just peeing… a lot.

A urinary tract infection (UTI) is a fairly common infection for women. Drinking cranberry juice or taking cranberry pills is usually an effective way to rid yourself of an UTI, however some more serious cases require antibiotics. While it may be common, having an UTI is no walk in the park. An UTI will make you feel like you have to pee constantly. Like, the most you’ve ever had to pee in your life. When you do go to the bathroom, you’ll then pee the littlest amount, which may string, may burn, or may cause you abdominal pain.

The worst part about this situation is going to the bathroom over, and over, and over again. You might as well just tell your co-workers why you’ve taken 46 bathroom breaks before noon and come out of the bathroom stall in tears. Since it is truly common, they’ll get it.

#8 Clogging Up Any Toilet Ever

Clogging up the toilet can happen either because you’ve used too much toilet paper or because you’ve tried to flush a tampon. Either way, it sucks and the situation only gets worse from there.

If there’s a plunger, you can try to be like Olivia Pope and handle the situation. That’s the least embarrassing option, though it’s still gross to be faced with whatever you put in the toilet. Um, you did not flush this stuff down just so it could come back up to face you. No, thank you.

If the plunger doesn’t work or there is no plunger in the room, then you’ll have to do the cringe-worthy thing of asking your host for a plunger or for help. If it’s a public restroom, you could always just leave the messy situation. Though, telling an employee is the honorable (and humiliating) thing to do.

Let’s just say when it comes to toilets, what goes down should stay down.

#9 Um, No Toilet Paper

From clogging the toilet to the opposite end of the spectrum: no toilet paper.

First of all, look before you tush hits that seat, girl. You can’t be getting comfortable when there’s no toilet paper. If you have sat down and done your business, only to find there is no toilet paper, you have to make some important life decisions. If it’s a public stall, you could ask your neighbor for some toilet paper, assuming there is someone in the stall next to you. If it’s a friend’s house, you’ll have to ask the host for some toilet paper, which will require that awkward shouting down the hall thing. Even worse, if it’s a party, you may have to ask for toilet paper while there’s also a line of other people waiting to get in. If you’ve only peed, the other option is that you could simply drip and dry. It’s pretty much like peeing in the wilderness, right?

Whatever the case, it’s not your finest hour. But there’s worse things that could happen, namely clogging the toilet.

#10 The Mess Of Going #2 On Your Period

Ugh, do we have to talk about it? Yes, we do, because it happens to all of us. It’s a dark, dark moment in your womanly life, but you’re not alone.

When you’re on your period, the bathroom can be a dangerous, messy place. It’s life, baby. And life doesn’t just stop when you have your period, which includes your digestive system. That’s right, us ladies have to deal with the joy of period blood and going #2. It’s a mess of things coming out of us all at once.

Afterwards, you can look at the toilet and just be grossed out that you have all that going on at once. I get it, girl. Just know that you are not alone in this time of need. Actually, they should really have a hotline for us when that period + #2 game is really bad, because it can truly make you question everything.

The other scary thing is that a period + #2 situation can led to clogging the toilet. You’ll use an excessive amount of toilet paper to clean yourself up and if you’re flushing a tampon too, good luck.

Overall, it’s just… yuck.

#11 Not Having A Tip For The Bathroom Attendant

There are some bathroom moments that are embarrassing for social reasons, rather than for bodily function reasons.

There’s the awkward moment of bumping into someone you know, but you don’t necessarily want to chit chat with. Of course, you have to talk. I mean, it’s a small space and you clearly see each other. You may also bump into something you 100% don’t want to bump into, like the friend with whom you’ve had a falling out, the girl your ex is dating now, or the ex-girlfriend of the guy you’re now dating. All very awkward situations. There’s also the MOST awkward moment of hearing someone letting it all out in a bathroom stall and then having to face them afterwards. Um, weird.

There’s the pain of using a restroom with a bathroom attendant and not having a tip for her. Thank you for handing me a paper towel and being a positive part of using this bathroom, but I don’t have a tip for you. Can you, like, Venmo her?

Basically, bathrooms can be extremely embarrassing, even if it isn’t something bodily.

#12 The No Shower Game (Thank You, Dry Shampoo)

Some of us may not even want to say how long it’s been since the last time we’ve washed our hair. In fact, some of us can’t even remember when the last time we washed our hair was. This is all to say that dry shampoo is an invention of the gods. Honestly, who wants to wash their hair every day? Well, now you don’t!

However, the degree some of us will go to in order to avoid a shower can be a little embarrassing. Dry shampoo is one thing, but the perfume shower is another. You know the perfume shower, right? It’s when you reapply your deodorant, spray yourself with perfume and call it a “shower.” There’s also the wash cloth trick, in which you take a wash cloth and clean your smelly lady bits then call that a shower.

Let’s just say this, if anyone ever saw us washing our armpits and overdosing on dry shampoo, we’d all be pretty embarrassed.

#13 The Post-Hookup Bathroom Trip

After getting intimate with a guy, you’ll want to go to the bathroom to freshen up. This particular bathroom trip can be one messy ride.

For starters, you’re sweaty and smelly. You’ve basically just exercised. Then, there’s the hair, which can look like a bird’s nest. In theory, sex hair is sexy, but in real life it’s just not. Oh, and your makeup will be all over the place. There’s lipstick on your chin and mascara down your cheeks.

The messiest part is, without a doubt, your vajayjay. Depending on your method of birth control, you’ll need to clean up the vajayjay area. It also seems like guys are clueless about our need to clean it up. It’s like they have no idea that their swimmers kind of… leak out of us.

Oh, there’s also the fun clean up if you’ve let him spray those swimmers somewhere else, like your stomach, breasts or face. Swimmers in the face is an epic tale of clean up.

#14 Popping That Monster Pimple

Popping a deep, disgusting, life-ruining pimple is everyone’s secret shame. In fact, there is nothing more satisfying and nothing more shameful. It’s like you don’t want to have this gross thing on your face, but you’re also kind of happy this gross thing is on your face because you get to pop it. Also, the amount of relief you’ll feel is similar to an orgasm.

Yes, I just compared popping a pimple to having sex. I stand by that statement.

Popping a pimple may feel like amazing relief, but it’s also pretty disgusting. First of all, the pimple in and of itself is probably a little unpleasant looking, to say the very least. Then, the popping will ooze out with the white head, oil and blood. After all of that, you’re left with a bloody, red, irritated patch of skin. But still, you’re kind of proud. You got that pimple, girl!

#15 The Morning After A Real Night Out On The Town

Ah, the hungover trip to the bathroom. It’s an experience.

This embarrassing moment can happen a few different ways. It always starts the same though, which is with a HARD night out on the town. You look fabulous, you feel fabulous, you are fabulous. Then, after 400 tequila shots, none of that is true. You may wake up at a friend’s house and trek to the bathroom, where you vomit your heart out. It is not a pretty moment in life, as your vomiting pure vodka and your mascara is down to your chin. You may even be covered in bruises and cuts that you’re not quite sure how you go.

Even worse is if you wake up at your guy’s place or, even worse than that, at your one-night’s place. This means you could be hungover, vomiting, and a complete mess of life, all at a stranger’s apartment. This is type of thing that will have you swearing you’ll never drink again, even though you totally will.

Whether it’s a bodily function, a weird social situation, or the plumbing acting up, there are some very weird experiences that happen in the bathroom. Bathrooms may be the place of luxurious bathes, but they are also the place of your darkest, most shameful moments. Good thing bathrooms can’t talk, right?

#16 Forgetting To Put On A Liner And Discovering Your Ruined Underwear (Even With A Tampon)

Us women don’t need to go to Las Vegas to gamble. We gamble every single month during our period. It is truly a dice roll, my lady friends. You have to decide if your tampon will be enough for that second day flow. Also, second day flow is the flow of death, right? It’s actually amazing that that much blood can come out of us and, yet, we can still go about our day like nothing is wrong. You hear that, men? DO YOU?

Anyway, you may go with the solo tampon game. That’s the true roll of the dice, because sometimes it’s not enough. That’s right, sometimes that solo tampon game will ruin those Victoria’s Secret undies from the semi-annual sale that seems like it happens every single month.

The worst feeling is going to the bathroom only to find those cute undies stained forever. I feel like us women should get tax cuts for new underwear expenses, no?