As we all know, high heels are the hallmark of womanhood and bound up, Chinese feet were back in the day, with style. We learned this from Sex and the City. But as women, drag queens, and crossdressers know, precipitous pumps aren’t without their dangers. Besides looking like weapons, the footwear of the female has tripped more than one woman up with a sprained ankle. Most of us know what it is to suffer burning soles and walk home barefoot from a night out, just with differing degrees of shame. There’s nothing as endlessly entertaining as someone falling over, but the sinister side of those red-soled Louboutins are their potential to trip women up in more ways than one. Some cultural theorists have suggested that besides literally slowing us down (and inducing pain), the elegant high heel is responsible for hindering women’s mobility in other ways. Are we imprisoned by traditional ideas of womanhood and womanly attributes? From the time when we are toddlers playing dress up in our mother’s closets, we internalize gender roles and rules. Yet a number of Hollywood actresses and top celebrities are treating high heels with the cavalier attitude of a three-year-old with a three-second attention span. For them, heels are dress-up accessories to throw on or toss out according to their mood. Despite the pressure for women (especially women in the public eye) to be aesthetically pleasing, these fifteen women show that even celebrities can’t walk in heels. Heels might give you a height advantage and elongate your legs, but it seems that you don’t need to wear them to succeed, even in the world of celebrity. Oh, and there are pictures of people falling over, so scroll on MacDuff.
Ashley Benson: Girls who lie
Like many an actress, Ashley Benson of Pretty Little Liars maintains that she bears little relation to her on-screen character. Benson, and many actors like her, are keen to point out that their acting ability offers her agility and versatility, a little like a child trying on their mother’s high heels for fun. The Pretty Little Liars star has gone as far as saying: “I feel uncomfortable when I’m in Hanna’s clothes just because I hate wearing heels, and she’s always in heels. My feet hurt!” The series explores the illicit secrets of a group of girlfriends, unraveling their shocking stories over the course of its cliffhanger-packed duration. As the title suggests, there is an inherent dishonesty in the traditional conceptions of femininity. Perhaps this has something to do with the generalization of an entire gender, and the popular myth that women are in some sense innately duplicitous.
Jennifer Lawrence: Renouncing “Satan’s shoes”
She can save the world in the Hunger Games and win an Oscar, but we all know and love Jennifer Lawrence for face planting on her way onstage to accept it. A combination of her high heels and a ruffled skirt was what tripped Lawrence up it would seem. Removing them both, she remarked “Satan’s shoes”. What we love Lawrence for (besides her acting talent) is her in person realness, perhaps derived from her ever-active sense of humor. Jennifer finds it so uncomfortable and is constantly tripping up on the red carpet: ”When I’m in high heels I feel like an ogre, I can’t walk and my feet are uncomfortable. I’m at that awkward height where I’m already kind of tall, so when I put heels on, everyone is like: ‘Oh, well, where’s the ball?’ It’s just that they make me look too dressed up and yeah, I’m terrible in heels.”
Scarlett Johansson: A lucky mistake
When Scarlett’s heels tripped her up on the set of genius director Jonathan Glazer’s Under the Skin, the Internet stepped in to do the rightful thing: make memes. Scarlett’s unscripted slip up producing one of the film’s most important moments, with the people of Glasgow, Scotland, helping the undercover starlet to her feet. The bizarre world of Under the Skin was born out by the alienated, documentary style of shooting. Glazer had Scarlett interact with unwitting non-celebrities in some of Britain’s most unremarkable and overlooked towns. The plot followed her character’s trajectory from an alien awakening in the skin of a human being (a woman in fact), following her journey towards discovering human empathy. The internet, as it happened, was less empathetic than the famously scurrilous inhabitants of Glasgow’s streets, pouncing on the opportunity to make a decent meme from this cataclysmic moment. Scarlett’s slip up spawned a slew of memes almost hellish in their multiplicity. But hey, you’ve got to love a meme.
Cara Delevingne: Supermodel and sneakerhead
Despite topping popularity polls as a supermodel, Cara Delevingne recently made the career transition into acting. Much talk has accompanied her maneuver and position on gender fluidity and acceptance. But her recent game-change might also have something to do with shoes. Never one to waste superlatives, The top model stated: “I hate high heels, more than anything.” During her modeling years, Cara has worn every sort of designer heel on the runways of Paris, Milan, London, and New York. But in an interview with Vogue UK in February 2013, she confessed “The worst part of being a model? I hate high heels, more than anything.” Indeed, off-duty Cara is rarely snapped in anything but high-top sneakers. Is Cara also setting a trend for young women in high heel evasion and gender fluid dressing? Probably. Never since the Nineties phenom of skater girl Avril Lavigne have we lusted after a boyish look so bad.
Kate Beckinsale: One step forward, two steps back(lash)
Another celeb who’s trying to protect her daughter from oppressive of straitjackets of ‘femininity’ like corsets and high heels is British actress Kate Beckinsale. On a recent episode of Chelsea Handler, the actress was asked about teaching her teenage daughter about healthy body image in a world of Photoshopped perfection. She responded saying that she had recommended her daughter read a book that had meant a lot to her growing up. Backlash: The Undeclared War Against Women by Susan Faludi proposes that cultural fetishes for overly specific or unattainable female body types are an unconscious, inadvertent reaction against improvements in female equality. The idea is that when women make big strides politically, getting the vote, for example, the fashion unconsciously turns towards increasingly unattainable body types. Backlash elaborates by tracing the subjugation of women simultaneously through history and through dress. Are high heels really slowing us down? Food for thought.
Hilary Duff: The circus freak of womanhood
There’s nothing we love more than seeing the human side of a celebrity. And there’s nothing funnier than people falling over. These two things came into beautiful, celestial alignment when Hilary Duff took the plunge in this smashing red and blue ensemble. Snapped here hitting the deck with an appropriately Thespian gesture, the Disney actress joined the hordes of celebrities whose embarrassing falls have been caught on camera by the merciless press. Sure, it’s entertaining when people fall over. But have we ever thought about how much easier it is to fall over in heels? You might remember Amy Schumer’s skit on the similarities between being a woman and being a clown, in her 2012 comedy tour routine. As Amy points out, “We are circus freaks, women! We put paint on our faces”, we wear stilts (high heels), we wear G-strings like high wires, and compete for male attention. Girl’s got a point.
Naomi Campbell: Queen of catwalk fails
When it comes to falling over in heels though, 90s supermodel Naomi Campbell’s notorious Vivienne Westwood catwalk slip up walks off with the top prize. Known for her weird and wonderful creations, the Brit designer has heeled many a celebrity in unwalkable footwear. Her designs paved the way for absurdities like the Alexander McQueen point shoes famously worn by Lady Gaga in the Bad Romance video. The now famous Vivienne show gained a tidal wave of press attention for the trip up. More so even, than the clothes themselves. It also gained the supermodel a reputation for drama, which Campbell has struggled to shake off ever since. More importantly, though, it was the beginning of the public’s obsession with failure. Campbell’s fall from grace plunged the world into a new era that would ultimately find expression in reality TV. So if you do fall over in your six-inch pumps, take heart. Falling is Biblical: it’s all Adam and Eve did in the Garden of Eden. We’re all obsessed with falling in love, which also involves going head over heels. Remember: as legendary cross-dressing artist Grayson Perry puts it, “your mistakes are your style”.
