Corny Jokes So Dumb You Will Actually Laugh!

#1 What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothin' but the tooth?

#2 What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

#3 My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.

#4 I went to the zoo the other day. It was empty, except for a single dog…

It was a Shih Tzu.

#5 How did the barber win the race?

He took a short cut.

#6 What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

#7 Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

The retail store.

#8 How does a train eat?

It goes Chew Chew!

#9 What do you call a sleep walking nun?

A roamin' Catholic.

#10 What do you call two banana skins?

A pair of slippers.

#11 What’s Forrest Gump’s password?

1Forrest1

#12 Knock knock.

Who's there?

Britney Spears.

Britney Spears who?

#13 Knock knock.

Who's there?

Oops, I did it again!

#14 What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef.

#15 Why don't they serve chocolate in prisons?

Because it makes you break out.

#16 What does a nosy pepper do?

It get all jalepeno business!

#17 What do you do with a Blue Whale?

Just try to cheer him up.

#18 Tried to take a photograph of some fog.

MIST.

#19 Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Because he had no-body to go with.

#20 I recently bought some shoes from a drug dealer and it didn't turn out well.

I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!

#21 How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogey in it!

#22 What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frost bite.

#23 What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?

A sour puss.

#24 And the Lord said to John, "Come Forth, and you will receive Eternal Life."

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

#25